Day one of Mid-years:

English went better than i expected ( or so i think )
CHINESE PRELIMS WERE SO EASY!
but when i decided on the number choice, i took my pen . stared a while and then put my head down. I had no idea what to right! Oh gosh. And im worried how prelims can be so easy. Oh my. If paper2 is going to be major hard, someone can just kill me. I know Anne glady would. Hahas.
Time to mug caroline!

anne: Dont worry babe. No matter where you come from, i'll love just the same! And whatever you wanna do with that burning question in your head, you've got my support(:

*
you're such a potential crush. really.

I had a dream last night. One, i really really wished i never got out of. It was just so real. I wished it WAS real.


Argghhh. I cant wait for normal school days to start again because there's only one person who'll know how i feel and what to do!! ahh. where's that idiot??

Someone hecked into my account. Oh gosh, Life must be boring for that person. Oh well. Life goes on for me.
*

Last night was so.. tragic. After what i heard Y.O told you, I almost died! It's like so close yet so far! And then it really didnt occur to me that i really didnt want y.o to tell you EVERYTHING. but he did. and.. UGH. that annoying piece of shit. Thank lord for Val. Felt so much better after all the personal rantings i gave her. I should really stop thinking about it.

Caroline loves green apples ( VAL! MAKE ME LOVE RED APPLES. PLEASE )
Sigh.
Anyways, today Val and me had fun attempting to rape Mitch! hahas! Or at least Val did. I attempted to give her a love bite on her neck but she was stronger than me. Even though Sa helped. hahas. Best part was we were suppose to do silent reading during lopez's class. hahas. that was hilarious.

You know sometimes i just really wonder if it was right of me to leave things like that. ( like stagnant water ) it feels so dead. When i really conclude im over it, some things just occur and it's like a little voice behind my head is telling me i havent end it yet. that i shouldnt leave it like that. Because at the rate im going, im going to hurt more than 2 people already. Sigh.Times when human beings can be such selfish souls.

Even if history doesnt repeat itself, It rhymes.
我知道你我都没有错

只是忘了怎么退后

信誓旦旦给的承诺

全被时间扑了空

我知道我们都没有错

只是放手会比较好过

最美的爱情回忆里带去

Oh great. It's already.. Tuesday and let's just say i haven't started on anything. ( well, at least not anything significant ) Monday's MYE if you're unclear of my frantic mood. ( courtesy to the teachers' shitfit ) yes. How annonying. In fact, Im just going to flunk it because im going chi-na for a month ( one month and 4 days to be exact ) . Just like last year, I've already planned my outs with dearest Clare. Like another one of our " shop till you drop" thing. So yah. Cant wait!

Oh my. What a week. Really.
Monday: Deal with stress for SYF
Tuesday: Deal with sis leaving
Wednesday: Deal with Nervousness for syf
Thursay: SACGE SYF and the last performance :(
Friday: Bye to Mrs loh
*
WHAT DID SACGE GET?
GOLD WITH HONOURS!!
YES! thanks to all who said SACGE will get silver and below. It feels so good to prove them WRONG!! But then again, it's this kind of people that helps motivates us to do our best. Alrights. Reached school at 5.45am practiced for awhile. Got really scared because i just kept missing my notes and my fingers were really pain as though someone had cut them off the night before. Nevertheless, just played. Then had to rush to put on make up, get dressed and tie french plait. Oh man. we all looked so lovely. hahas. After which we had breakfast and then rush to get ready and all. Soon, we had to board the bus. Oh gosh. I know i was suppose to feel nervous but i wasnt feeling that at all. Like even the day before i could tell people im so excited! LOL. Maybe all the 7 performances guitar had THIS year really made us prepare for this day. I mean, how many cca had SEVEN performance before syf to prepare themselves? there you go. So we were on our way to SCH. Meanwhile, Bernadette's nail broke. guess how we fixed it? We bought superglue to glue it back. It worked though it was like yuck . When we got there, tuned, played a lil and then we went up. So everyone was getting read to go into the waiting room. they lined us up and got us ready in our rows and they let us in. In where? ON STAGE. We were all like majorly shocked!! but of course we had to look confident. The walking part was kinda screwed up. And there were actually gaps between us. Then we started playing. It was over like so quickly. Before we knew it, it was the standing up and kallang-wave-hold-up-guitar part. When we got out, we were saying it just doesnt feel like a performance because it felt so easy. No stress a lil nervousness and 99% enjoying the time we played on stage. We heard good comments and were really confident but of course we couldnt show it incase if there's any disappointment. So yea. Finally watching the other schools, the results. When the guy announced " Saint Anthony's Canossian Seconday School - Gold.." we started cheering and then "..WITH HONOURS" oh gosh. Everyone just starting crying except beatrice? lol. I honestly didnt expect the Gold with honours because only 3 other school had it. AHS, RI and RGS. Ahh. SO PROUD OF EVERYONE. Especially my deaerst Alto 1s!! But of course everyone did really good. I mean, there's no such thing as Alto 1 has the hardest part or whoever has the easiest part because without the whole ensemble, our individual parts would mean nothing.

But here's the sad part. Im going to miss SACGE so so much! :( Why am i at home on a Friday afternoon?? I agree with nic. It's.... weird.
*

Oh yes, so ACJC recital went..alrights.
*
Sis left yesterday! :( And im sure i'll be crying for the last time already. This day (170407) has been haunting me for months. Now, it's finally done and over with. Part of me glad, part of me still missing her truckloads! Ah well. Actually, yesterday was a pretty good day. I mean, i feel so relieve after yesterday. Alrights. School was a total dread though. Monday's cca was just... yah. Im glad it's over. Yupps. and then i had tuition last night! was really not looking forward to THAT particular tuition. But, it turned out so much better than i had expected. Honestly. It totally made my day. I went to tuition and then jeremy came and talk crap again. Cher and him went out and then y.o called me on my handphone telling me that he'll be late. Oh gosh. When he came, drama. Funny shit i tell you. In the end, i manage to prove that i can whack y.o really hard. Of course, i think jeremy's on my side ( ahem. not the way you think both of us are okay! DUMB). He's partly to blame for your plight. LOL. This is what happens when you diss caroline huh(: Gosh. And whatever nonsense thing i did ytd at tuition, i got away scot-free. because the cher always seem to find fault with the other 2 guys! haha! So hilarious! Im glad things are back to normal!

After that went straight to send my sister off to the airport. Ahh. I feel sad for HIM though. I think he's worse off than me lah(: haha. Oh of course i cried. But im sure it'll be the last time. Remember those days we fought over silly things like seat in the front seat of the car, who eats what, who gets what. Those times we spent the whole day pinching each other. Those times she made me cry and then pamper me again. Those times i came home feeling sad and she was just all ready to cheer me up like it was first on her to-do list. She taught me so many more values than anyone in this world has taught me. Including my parents. She taught me how to think of others before me. How to help others and not want to gain anything back. How to not throw tantrums whenever i please. Oh gosh. Im really going to miss her and my bro so so much. The house is so goddamn quiet alr! :( Sigh. Next thing to wait for. Her returning home during the dec hols. I have already 2 movie tickets waiting for her to join me in dec. It's sitting on the table waiting for her to return. Totally cant wait.

This is how my dad cheered me up when he saw me cry. We were walking out of the airport. he saw a group of ladies and then he whispered to me. " they are ladies" please. they have perfect figures. so I stared at him. giving him the look of " are you that desperate to cheer me up? " and then he told me to just walk near them while they are talking. so i did.
OH. MY. LORD. they are GUYS!! YUCK!!! I got so totally grossed out!! I practically could laugh my way home. It's so.. eew. everytime i think of it, my hair stands! literally. hahas. gosh. my dad does has his ways..
*
SYF IS TOMORROW!
SACGE CAN DO IT!
We are all at home relaxing now. getting mentally prepared for tomorrow. everyone's sleeping at 9pm. latest 10pm people!! Call me slow but i just heard for the first time today that SACGE was the only sec school in spore who had gold for 2001 SYF. yes. Motivation! I feel so excited for tomorrow! (: Im sure we'll all have fun tomorrow. Because SYF is at the back of my head alr. Being with the ensemble means a lot more.

SACGE, what's OUR favourite colour?
GOLD!!

Im going to hate this week.why?

1. Homework havent done yet. since.. last monday! ahh. too caught up with SYF
2. Sister leaving on Tuesday!! IM SAD SAD SAD SAD! :(
3. Test on tuesday. Havent study. Not going to. Maybe i should ask for extension!
4. SYF on thursday. I have a bad feeling about that. i want this feeling to go away!
5. Last performance with SAC GUITAR ENSEMBLE<3 :(
6. Going to miss the people in guitar! Especially my oh so dearest Alto 1s! And of course Val and rachel quek too
7. I dont know what im doing with you anymore.

Enough reasons to hate the week?

*
Sat: Had Recital with ACJC. Ahh, will blog about it when im free. Maybe next week or something. Tomorrow have A Lim's lesson and havent finish her work!! die. so died-ed i swear!

oh gosh. today is such an emotional cca-day! Let's see. after school had the last rush-opposite-eat-cup-noodles-rush-back-to-school lunch with Nic. Then we had our physics Practical test which again, i screwed up. what a surprise huh.Oh well. Then rush to cca. Found the guitar people. Oh my. our gown. it looks like choir's. But then again, I think it's better than the black one. Somehow or rather. Yes. The hair band is lovely! Love that so much. How cool. it'll be a guitar thing(: hahas. Got my costume went to change with Jia li. Then went to play with the ensemble for 15 minutes. After which, we had to head up to the MPR. Then ahh, the farewell party. Was telling myself not to be emotional. It worked while i was talking to daphne about phantom of the opera. Then we could finally go in. First came the new committee members. Ahh. work hard people!! (: Then came a powerpoint for the seniors.. Gosh. Beverly starting telling me she was scared she'll cry. Then came Mr choo's song. Oh my. I started tearing and then i told beverly and beatrice. When they told me not to, i totally just cried. Sorry but i couldnt take it.. I really cant handle seperations well. And everyone started singing the song. Beatrice recorded it!!! though it sounds really blur, I WANT IT!! It was so lovely. After which, my oh so lovely auto1s gave me a hug. plus val too(: Then we had this huge paper description of ourselves on the wall with a balloon to burst it. AH I BURST MY FIRST BALLOON IN LIFE. believe it or not! hahas. i used my shoes!! lol. That was funny. lol. later went to change and oh my. people actually said i can fold clothes. HA! now,that's a first. lol. then we went to eat. food was good(: Even those who were not guitar people that took the food ( e.g anne.ha) said it was good. After which, took major LOTS of pictures with the juniors! I WANT THE PICTURES! This makes me feel like bringing a camera everytime i go cca so we can take pictures. haha. what a crazy idea. end off at 7.15. couldnt help it. I took the big picture description of me off the wall and took it home. I think i'll keep it until it turns yellow. It's so cute! ugh. So reluctant to go home but had to. for tuition! :( So didnt want this to end.Going to miss all this so so much.

Thanks for the little presents. They are lovely!
THANKS EVERY SINGLE JUNIOR IN SACGE!
And of course, Mr choo.
*
I guess about what happened on wednesday, we all had different views of it. I guess we all just wanted what's best for the ensemble. So, no hard feelings. I mean Tiffany and i went through SYF before. We know how it feels to practice so hard but not being able to obtain what we hoped for. We know how disappointing it feels when the results are announced and we didnt get what we want. How we feel everything just wasnt worth it. How we feel the days of practice and all the effort was wasted. And i guess after having gone through all that before. It just makes us even more afraid to fail this time. I really hope you guys appreciate Tiffany's efforts. Just maybe try putting yourself in her shoes. Ive read some of your blogs. and i would be lying if i said wasnt disappointed after reading it. I mean.. ( okay i dont want to quote anything from other people's blogs) I thought guitar was your passion. But if you have to put factors like money and time when it comes to your passion, how can it even be a passion? We all have our freedom of speech so im not going to take offence. I just wana treasure all the time left i have with this guitar ensemble. Because i never regretted to be part of this ensemble

ONE SONG ONE ENSEMBLE
DRIVEN BY PASSION; INSPIRED TO LEARN.

The week's passing by so slowly! :(
Gosh.

Honestly, why do juniors now a days have totally no respect for seniors? When i try my best to look happy and sound happy for you, you talk back like you have absolutely never done it before. Like why do i even bother anyway? And if you're going to tell people in YOUR class that im a total bitch, please be careful who you tell it to. Cause word spreads.I know a person in that class and you so happened to tell it to her. I mean she alr said she didnt want to hear. But you still went on blabbering. Gosh. Are you that desperate? I guess you never thought why you dont have any friends. And Im sorry if i said i hated your class right infront of your effing face. And you asked me why i hate your class and i said because of one person in that class, i guess you thought i was referring to you. I wasnt. But you know what? I dont even bother trying to explain things to you. And besides, if you really wana think that way, go ahead man. you fit that person anyway. Change that attitude of yours if you want to be promoted from a effing PIT to a prefect. Why do i even let this seem like so important. And then again, it takes a bitch to call another one a bitch. So have fun. Knock yourself out. Im sorry if you dont like me because you realise you cant suck up to me. I find people like that such a turn off. really. Dont you have a life to live? I know i do. And im going to live it MY way whether you like it or not.

p.s Have fun being a slave for the school. (no offence to those who love being slaves for the school)

*
Sigh. SYF's only IN A FEW DAYS TIME. I just dont get how CO can work so so hard to get what they want. Stay until 9pm in school to practice willingly. But when tiffany tried to keep the guitar girls in school for one and a half hours more, you all make it seem like it's the end of the world. Why cant you all sacrifice time to get to the goal you want? From the way some of you just kept compaining, it shows so clearly this means nothing at all to you. If so, then what for practice? If you're going to practice it, practice it well. People complain to Mr choo saying you all are upset. I mean, SYF's only in a few days time. If one and a half hours more can help bring you a step closer to the goal we want, why cant those who complain see that it's nothing compared to the past 2 years we have been practising? Tiffany tries so hard to bring this whole thing together. But people just dont appreciate all her effort. You think she loves to scold? You think she likes to keep you all back isit? Instead of being together as a cca to obtain what we want, you guys complain. In the end, Tiffany gets all the scolding. I just dont find it worth it for her AT ALL. This means so much to the both of us having to go through this again. Maybe to some of you, it doesnt.Because i know it didnt mean much to me when i was in sec 2. But now, knowing it's the last chance, it means so so much more. Forget it. I just feel tiffany dont deserve all this crap after all the effort she put in.
*
FINALLY I SEE As for my tests.
Amaths, chem, bio(:

Gosh. I failed my english and history test. surprise surprise. gessh. I ought to buck up and i need serious motivation to study!! I feel like im hanging from a thread that's about to break anytime now. But that's besides the point. SYF is coming. Im sure many of you have heard what concert band obtained.So honestly heartbroken for them! And Im worried.

VERY. no point trying to study now cause all i can ever think of is SYF. Sigh.


Assembly performance.
6.15AM
school hall.

Sigh. I was like major depressed last night. Until i decided. I shouldnt be stubborn anymore. I know if i turn to you, i'll feel better. You always make me feel better. You always seem to know what to say at the right time. Make me feel better about myself. Let me cry my emotions out because you know ive been keeping all the feelings inside me. Burying myself with all the work you and i know will never end. And for that moment. Ive realised how silly i was since that day. That day when i cried my heart out because of what you did. And how when i look back, i realise that what you did was just because you're human too. You made mistakes. I made even more mistakes. But ive been complacent. It was like i saw your concern as a burden to me. Because i realise whatever i did affected you. I thought ending it was the right choice. I thought i finally made one right choice. But maybe, it's true. I cant make decisions. Now without you, it feels like i can never make the right decisions. When the both of us had it well, i didnt realise that much of how i wanted my life to be lies in your hands. Whether it was to be happy or not, you were there. You were just always there. And i know ive took your presence for granted. All that you've done for me, sacrificed for me. Ive took it for granted. How do i continue from here? Which exit am i suppose to take now? Ahh. My mind is working overtime now. Nevertheless, I just wanted to thank you for giving your time last night to me. Hearing me out. Letting me pour my emotions onto you. And everything you said to me last night..

thank you

oh right. finally found the time to blog at 7.15 am. yup. So as i was saying, "phantom of the opera" is MAJOR NICE. Went with my sis like just the both of us. That made it a lot better than going with parents! So we got the $133 bucks seat at row K 20,21. 11 rows from the front. GOSH. those were like major good seats cause you can like view the whole stage and not just the front part like most of the front row people.Although i must admit. I was laughing at the people who had stuff blowing into their faces. SAD CASES. The whole show was so freakishly nice and of course really sweet. I shadnt say too much since other people havent watch it.

I WANA WATCH IT AGAIN!!
*
060407:
oh gosh. this was the last time i'll ever go out with my sis :( or at least not for a very long time. She's leaving for Sydney on 170407. We woke up early, got a ride down to bugis. Walked ard there. Then went bugis street. Walked ard, then went popular. After which, we went back to bugis cause we needed to go aNbc. Oh my lord. lucky for us to be early because by the time we left the place, a whole pack of crowd was pushing their way to bugis. Those poor things. Later, we went citylink then went to suntec cause i wanted to buy fbts. Sigh. didnt have purple fbts! :( Oh wells. then walked ard, went to ms. shop ard there, bought stuff then took our time to go vivo city.walked ard, bought stuff then went into some chinese restaurant. had reservations for 16 people.And we were the earliest. So just sat there and chit-chat with her(: Waiting for those adults that claim we must get there early but only arrived way later than us. Dinner was for my granddad's bday. ( in advance ) gosh. the food was pretty good. we ate until 9.50pm then left our own ways. My oh-so-very-smart-dad, parked his car at vivo city carpark. and because of that, we only got home at 11.15pm! my lord! We were stuck at the 7th floor carpark for half and hour. Like moving slowly is one thing. NOT moving at all is another. So my sis decided to sms my cousin ask him where is he. guess what? alr at home in serangoon. and we're still at the freaking 7th floor of the car park. got out at ard 10.50pm then my dad speed home. Had a major awesome day today me sis! Going to miss her truckloads. This is why i hate being so attached to her.

OH MY LORD. PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS SO GODDAMN NICE!
i dont mind watching it again!! (: I'll blog about it when i have time.Hopefully..soon.

I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what
You've made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own.

15 days to SYF!
26 days to MYE.
26 days to Chinese prelims.
215 days to END OF O LEVELS.
*
Im going to see how i pull through!! CO's SYF's tomorrow!! oh my lord. So scared for them :( Soon it'll be OUR turn!!

(Caroline needs a major huge reality check*)