IVE MOVED

www.unintended-fate.blogspot.com

you make a good heartbreaker.

listening to
thunder by boys like girls

it's a good song and im being random here. well, i got a reply... and... it's comforting to know you realised how disconnected we are. At the same time, why aint you giving me an excuse? is there no excuse at all? would i prefer you to give an excuse?

hmm. you got me thinking again.

HOW ARE THINGS ON YOUR SIDE,ANNE?

im talking to anne on msn now.
haha!
oh my gosh. we just did a funny thing! bcos she came up with some crap and make sense out of the crap. haha!
We kinda have friendships that we wanna save. So she would sms that person and say
"hello *"
and i would sms my friend to say
"hello *"
and now again, it has always been me and her that's putting the effort to save friendships that we treasure. well, i dont know what to do after that person replies. because i think it's getting awkward already...

I praye to God to truly let them realise how much they mean to us.

hard core blogging. hmm
HAHA.
read a poem on anne's blog. FUNNY! HAHAH.

anyways, outs with sis today. Okay. got ready at 10am so by11am i'll be done. woah(: then got a ride from aunt to amk mrt. went to NYP ( i stayed at the mrt.haha!) cause my sis needed to pass something to her friend.some usb thingy. AND SHE GOT THE SHOW "SECRET" BY JAY CHOU from her friend! cant wait for her to watch it! it's a damn good show! :D stupid sis of mine went to erase every episode of heroes after watching. tsk. i want movie marathon of heroes! oh well. i'll catch up on season two! yay(:
alrights. so we went to cathay and bought tix for ENCHANTED. then it was still early. so we went heerens to shop. spent 145 on two erm.. dresses? they actually look like tops. so i dont know. but ppl wear it as dresses. So right. Then we walked here, there and everywhere. ate long john silver. pretty good food. JUST VERY OILY. tsk. but the choc cake was like NICE NICE NICE(:

we spent a long time at blossom so soon it was show time. before that we just hang ard at level 5. chit chat, girl talk. haha. then went it. the show was rather lame at first. then it was funny. the ending was touching! sweet(:
went to far east to buy another denim shorts.hee. i still ahve tons to buy on my shopping list!=X nvm. i will use up my mum's vounchers. why let it go to waste huh(: HAHA.

well, went back to amk mrt. met melvin. Sis's friend. then took the bus home. BUS RIDE SO LONG MAN. lol! then walked home (LONG WALK!) to put things down.
p.s my sis and melvin went to eat dinner while i went home. shessh
then i got melvin's present for sis to give him. and i had to WALK back to the bus stop. leg pain like hell! ugh. the things i do for sister love. then i walked all the way back home. oh yah. i saw my cousin on the way back to the bus stop. he was riding a bicycle! i asked him to give me a lift to the bus stop but his damn bicycle no seat! HAHA!

IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS.
72HOURS
4320 MINUTES
259200SECONDS
SINCE WE TALKED! ugh.

God actually does answers our prays(:
I was praying to God to give me answers that i dont have in certain things that im still thinking about. and in the middle of deleting emails, there was a voice telling me to click on this email. I mean, i have 2000 over emails to delete! I might as well just keep selecting everyone of them to delete. but i had this weird urge to click on this particular email that was sent to me from my senior on 24june07. I didnt get answers. But i got questions that i didnt realise existed. And in a way, I think i know what i should do.

*
"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?,
or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...
if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own........when you least suspect it,
or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had,
but that other person was too afraid to let you ?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...
for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what wedon't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger .
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done,
or could have had.

*What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? ( even if it is that you don't care anymore)
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?
*People live, but people die. I want to tell you thatyou are a friend.If you died tomorrow (God Forbid)
you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?

We might be best friends one year,
pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next,
and don't want to talk at all the year after that.
So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,
I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you ,
most of all I CARE about friends

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.
Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and . always will.. "

i think my sis and i are the only ones who talk to each other through msn when we're both at home. she's in the room, im in the living room. HAHA.

*
I miss your cookies deliveries with the letters smelling of cookies. The scent is fading away. I guess so are you. I miss sharing the cookies with you when you use my laptop and i watch the television. I miss the times we both just landed on the floor with hands tangled together bcos neither of us wanted to give in to the lethal elbow attacks. I miss seeing you fall asleep next to me. I miss us lying on each other's back on the sofa. I miss sneaking up on you. I miss splashing water at you. and i miss so much more... most importantly, there's no denying i miss you.

DONT GIVE UP ON ME BCOS I GAVE UP ON YOU.

ugh. my mum can be such a pissyoff-er at times!

Alright. so i was back from syd on the 29 nov. Im the only loser who jet lags. ugh. haha.

anyways, friday went to support anne for auditioning in a musical! We met up for breakfast with her mum. then her mum went to work so the both of us when to the waiting area there. After the whole thing, we went pastamania for lunch. Didnt really feel hungry so the both of us just shared a pizza. Then went to starbucks! (: talked about random stuff i guess. And trying to help anne to decided whether to go for lunch with Ms raju and her other members. I was wondering why isit so hard just to decide. and THEN! I found out the reason. the only reason why she didnt feel like going. HAHHA. Okay. ididnt really found out. she told me. hahah! it was so lame a reason anne. haha! oh well. after that met sis!! <33

We shopped here and there and everywhere. haha.then we bumped into our brother at orchard. So decided to get a ride from him to our mum's office then the four of us go back to grandparents' house together. We went to our mum's office rather early. and my brother and i were crapping ard. haha.

TIRED.
*
Saturday 01dec07
-shopping with sis
-asia beatbox championship

Went out early in the morning and had dad drop us off at amk mrt bcos we couldnt decide where to go. then decided to go suntec first. I think i spent like 200 over today. Bought quite a LOT of things. haha. Okay, the reason i wanted to go suntec early was to make sure that i can get the royce chocs for kyung. I promised. So finally! after walking and walkin...I FOUND IT(: haha. then it was like 12pm and the man told me that the dry ice thingy will only last 4 hours.then we went to ms to shop ard. Damn hungry so ate KFC. shiok! So damn long never ate there alr! hhaha. My stupid sis had a bimbo fit and deicded not to eat lunch. pfft. Oh yah! and we were carrying our new GUESS bags that our mum bought for us in syd! its so nice! i see people staring at them! HAHA.

Okay. after lunch, went to shop ard ms. the shop that we wanted to go to wasnt open so decided to far east. Somehow i just didnt feel like shopping. i dont know why. We only walked ard a lil and decided to go amk hub alrd. the competition was from 2-4. i didnt tell kyung i was going. it was kinda a surprise. haha. i thought i made it very obvious bcos i was asking when it is,where isit,will he be there from 2-4pm and all, what time is his turn. but after getting all the info i was like " oh.haha. anyways, all the best then." yups. phew. my legs were killing me. amk was so far from where we were! but still went anyways. got there and they didnt start until like 2.30. it was two by two to compete with each other also. he was like the last few. then it was his turn. wa lao. his supporters were ALL GIRLS. my sis was like wth. haha! i didnt know too. there were like 8 to 9 girls sitting infront of me screaming their lungs out. there were others but i didnt know where they were. Anyways, he kena suan on stage until damn funny i tell you. hahah! after his performance, i wanted to meet him hoping the girls wont be there. but..wow. they were WAY FASTER THAN ME. bythe time i saw him, they were crowding around already. and as i was approaching, one of the girls saw me and started nudging her friend.

that was not a good sign. trust me.

so i went up.And the moment i stood in front of him the girls were giggling and laughing and making those teasing sound. I was alright at first but their reaction totally shocked me. I didnt expect them to do what they did! super embarrassed can! then talked a lil but i couldnt really talk talk bcos every girl there was staring. How to talk man. ugh. Then i gave him the ROYCE chocs. wa lao! the teasing just went louder! Made me like so malu for god knows why. as though i was doing sth illegal. So i made an excuse to go off early. No choice la. I didnt know how else to react to their reaction please! so i went off early.

CONGRATS ON GETTING INTO TOP10!
YAY(:
but the thing is the grand finale is on 20 dec!!! that's like clare's bday! agh! i wanna go! im praying so hard it'll be at night!!

At night went bowling! :D it's been 8 months!! hahah!. then the best part was desmond wanted to join. then when he ask where, i replied to that bummer! then bloody best. kyung go and reply. and i even asked "you're done eating with your mum?" and he still reply! LOL. after bowling, went home and called desmond to talk to him. told him like stuff and all. I still have a badfeeling about US. you know who im refering to. I mean, i think about it and i will cry. let me pour out my rant.But before that, kyung found the price tag for the chocs. apparently, i didnt see it at all! it was on the box INSIDE the dry nice protecter thing. and he scolded for buying expensive chocs. haha! oh well. it's nice chocs!!

sunday,02dec07
SWIMMING WITH SIS! GOT TAN-ED(:
*
Alright.Maybe im just being over sensitive. But we're drifting apart so fast i can hardly even breathe. (Desmond, i really feel like shyte today! stop gaming! arggh. I need to rant to you before i blow!)

back to what i was saying.. i think we've became complete strangers. I rmb the first day we talked..about chi results. and then you asked me for my number. and then we started talking as though we knew each other since god knows when. The phone calls we had always ended up me being dissed by you. but you know what? at least we were talking. we had like everything to talk about. we took the same combi too. Studying was always easier bcos whenever i didnt know sth, you were there 24/7 like you told me. and when i got totally stressed and on the verge of giving up and just felt like crying, you called me to tell me not to give up. and the things you said to me. you had no idea how much easier it was. Like you said, we went through a lot especially during o level.. and the ss notes you went to photocopy for me. the bio BOOK you went to photocopy bcos i was clueless about bio and just wanted to throw the sub away. the two jerks you hear me rant until the early morning just to get it off my chest. the things you said to me on tue during that one week break in o level really changed everything. I started to think. I started to wonder. and then o level actually ended! like FINALLY. and the things we planned to do were just a step away. But then i had grad night stuff and i told you not to send me off at the airport. maybe that was mistake. bcos the moment i stepped onto that plane to syd, it was the action that changed us totally. We smsed. i heard some bitch said things to me and i rant it to you. felt better. but we werent talking much anymore. but i was like thinking it's just causeyou're there n im here.

Reality sucks.
i got back. nothing from you.
we dont even have things to say.
it's like there's a black pit in between of us and none of us dare to jump over so we deicded to walk away.It feels actually like that. and it sucks! I rather we NEVER KNEW EACH OTHER.

Goodbye to you bcos what we bcome in future lies in your hands now. Ive tried.
I forgot what it was like to have you here with me
I thought you should know you're not making it easy.