Gosh. I think im already under tons of stress. way too much for me to handle because i just have this urge of crying everything out at random times. Maybe i really shouldnt let all the examination thing get to me so much or maybe it's not just that. i just have a really huge goal for myself. One that i dont think i can even reach. Im not even anywhere close to touching it. And it's worse when i think of it and realise, im only doing this to myself to keep my mind off stuff.I dont mind drowning in the sea if the memories will drown too. Cause honestly, ive had enough. enough of you you you.

SYF's nearing. My instructor is ill. I really dont want to cry my heart out when the result comes out.2 years of hard work and effort practicing the piece can go down the drain if we dont prove ourselves that we can obtain a gold in 8 minutes. All the times with blisters, ice to numb the pain would be worthless. I hope we can really make it through. =X

MYE's in 4 weeks. Revision not done. homework piling. Tests on the same day. Mdm Sim's retarded lecture. UGH.
***
Ever since i met you, i didnt know how complicated my life can get. But you made me realise how a simple life can be such a blessing. So you went all out to get my number in hope maybe we can be friends and maybe more than just friends. Honestly, now you know that when i make friends, i dont have motives. I just go all out hoping that it's another start of a friendship. Then, you turned out a jerk..A really selfish one! And maybe i can be really stupid at times. I just didnt see that side of you. You know honestly, what's going on between me and *** is partly bcos of you. partly bcose i was influenced by you. and ive hurt that one guy that loved me so much more than anything in this world. IVE FINALLY REALISED YOU'RE PARTLY TO BLAME. but whatever it is, it's alr over. so i'll leave that behind. cause you see that the both of us just aint meant to be? i guess not. have anyone told you all you ever cared about was YOURSELF? if love can be measured by percentage, then it wouldnt be called love anymore. But you didnt see that right from the start. you told me things i never heard before. you made me laugh like i havent laugh before. But you know what? that's all you ever did. The rest of you is nothing but bullshit! it's all plain BULLSHIT! If you're going to make empty promises, save it. you wanna know why? bcose ive had enough. okay. ive gave you just too many chances. but you never treasure a single one of them. and honestly, i dont have a high tolerance level. when i say leave me alone. i mean it 110%. seriously. i dont believe anything you say now. cause when you promise sth, you break it within the next 5 minutes! how do you ever hope to gain back my trust? its surprising you even have the thought of that! honestly. it really isnt about whether i get pissed cause you ask me one question. you freaking agreed to give a one week space to think things through. so what if you dont sms or call? you leave a friendster message. WHAT IS THE USE OF THAT. AND YOUR QUESTION. WHAT IS WITH YOUR QUESTION? IS IT SO IMPORTANT YOU CANT WAIT A WEEK MORE TO ASK? HONESTLY! this just shows you do things without thinking first. and why do i have a feeling you think im a materialistic girl? But guess what?!?! i dont care what you think or do. even telling you to F*** off you wouldnt. I know you changed a hell for me. BUT THAT DOESNT DO ANYTHING IF YOU'RE NOTHING BUT LIES. that doesnt bring you anywhere near me. dont you have any diginity or pride?? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IN ORDER FOR YOU TO JUST GIVE. IT. UP? Cause ive had enough of your apologises! just about..

e-n-o-u-g-h

you never thought of anything else except your pain.
***

THANKS VAL AND CLARE!
you guys were there for me when i really needed you guys. I dont think i can ever thank the both of you enough.Val give good advice(: at least i have you two to turn to when i really it.
nic: your 4 pages long letter is still slowing progressing. haha. my bad(: