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Monday, March 27, 2006
Carolinechantel Yap posted at 7:03:00 PM

ugh.what is this world coming to?!
first things first.alrights.can you all just put in some effort in what we're trying to do? i mean ever thought why you guys dinn have to do anything at all? for that part? i mean.think about it okay.if we gave you all any freakish work.WILL YOU ALL DO?! no.so fine.we dinn give u guys all the shit to do.then just doing one favour and it's like "cannot la.i yada yada yada" look.i dun give shit alrights.just do ur lil freaking part also wanna cannot this cos.cannot that cos..FORGET LA! u guys just thought me one lesson.and why do lessons always gotta be thought the hard way? hmm..let me think...OH YAH.cos people like you guys exist! there.
***
okay.here's another thing.DONT GIVE ME EMPTY PROMISES! i dun appreciate one freaking bit of it okay.you PROMISED me one thing.then you go do another thing when i look away.it's just a blink of an eye.what happen to the part where you cared?! look.i dun see why should i care for you when u dun care about urself okay.im sorry.
***
I GIVE UP! i give up this whole game.i dun wanna play this FREAKISH game anymore.it's tiring okay.while you have it your fucking way, im trying to figure out things myself.if u dun wanna trust me,forget it okay.i give up.really.im trying to pressurise myself to figure you out.and there you go.i dont wanna wait anymore okay.I DONT WANNA WAIT FOR YOU TO CONTINUE THIS FRIENDSHIP.giving up was my last resort.and i've turn to that.IM SORRY.im not some kind of pillar u lean on when u want to.and leave alone when you got better people to confide to.i dun think drifting apart is a reason.it's an EXCUSE! i dun want you to tell me EVERYTHING.just tell me what's going on.i NEED TO KNOW.i live everyday of my freaking life.trying to figure out what is wrong.and how could i help.NOTHING.cos i dun know a shit.and you you you.tell me to leave her alone.FINE.i did it.this is what happens when say the wrong things.look.things doesnt turn out the way you always want to okay.so this time.everything just fell apart.everything just changes around you and i know u're trying to catch up.u're breathless.WHAT ABOUT US?! give ME a break for a change will you!give US a break!it's so hard just to see you by chance.cos everytime i see you.all the memories just flash back into my head.all the memories we had.and then we just walk pass each other.speechless.no eye contact.WHAT IS THIS?! sometimes i just wanna breakdown infront of you to tell you how much you can hurt the both of us.without solving it one day.it's like this burden on my shoulders every fucking day! you mean THIS much to me alrights.i dunno if this is a good thing or bad.trust is a big word.i know.it's hard to trust people.for people to gain your trust.and u're scared by trusting to wrong person you'll risk getting hurt.THEN WHAT ABOUT US?! when u're afraid of risking it, we're made to feel it by you.you think we wanna feel this way.this just that long friendship of ours that's doing this okay.everysingle day i tell myself.give you time..you'll figure it out one day.and when you do, u'll see picture..FACE IT okay.i dun wanna live in self-denial.i dont wanna end 7 years of friendship because of this.IT'S STUPID! and pls.this is not some kind of " i dont friend you anymore" rubbish.like pls that is so pri sch.i wanna SOLVE IT! but it's always US doing the job.trying so hard.and all you do is turn your back on us and walk away.i hate it okay.im sorry.i've done everything i could.all the both of us ever did was care for you.tell me what is wrong with that.SHOVE ME THE REASONS!go ahead shove it to my face.there! go find your reasons.i dun wanna make you do anything more.i just want you to go ask yourself what you're doing to us.
***
fucker: leave me alone.i seriously dun have the time and mood to entertain you.sorry!