itsmyline

2007-12-05T09:08:00.000+08:00

IVE MOVED

www.unintended-fate.blogspot.com

2007-12-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

you make a good heartbreaker.

listening to
thunder by boys like girls

it's a good song and im being random here. well, i got a reply... and... it's comforting to know you realised how disconnected we are. At the same time, why aint you giving me an excuse? is there no excuse at all? would i prefer you to give an excuse?

hmm. you got me thinking again.

HOW ARE THINGS ON YOUR SIDE,ANNE?

2007-12-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

im talking to anne on msn now.
haha!
oh my gosh. we just did a funny thing! bcos she came up with some crap and make sense out of the crap. haha!
We kinda have friendships that we wanna save. So she would sms that person and say
"hello *"
and i would sms my friend to say
"hello *"
and now again, it has always been me and her that's putting the effort to save friendships that we treasure. well, i dont know what to do after that person replies. because i think it's getting awkward already...

I praye to God to truly let them realise how much they mean to us.

2007-12-04T21:38:00.000+08:00

hard core blogging. hmm
HAHA.
read a poem on anne's blog. FUNNY! HAHAH.

anyways, outs with sis today. Okay. got ready at 10am so by11am i'll be done. woah(: then got a ride from aunt to amk mrt. went to NYP ( i stayed at the mrt.haha!) cause my sis needed to pass something to her friend.some usb thingy. AND SHE GOT THE SHOW "SECRET" BY JAY CHOU from her friend! cant wait for her to watch it! it's a damn good show! :D stupid sis of mine went to erase every episode of heroes after watching. tsk. i want movie marathon of heroes! oh well. i'll catch up on season two! yay(:
alrights. so we went to cathay and bought tix for ENCHANTED. then it was still early. so we went heerens to shop. spent 145 on two erm.. dresses? they actually look like tops. so i dont know. but ppl wear it as dresses. So right. Then we walked here, there and everywhere. ate long john silver. pretty good food. JUST VERY OILY. tsk. but the choc cake was like NICE NICE NICE(:

we spent a long time at blossom so soon it was show time. before that we just hang ard at level 5. chit chat, girl talk. haha. then went it. the show was rather lame at first. then it was funny. the ending was touching! sweet(:
went to far east to buy another denim shorts.hee. i still ahve tons to buy on my shopping list!=X nvm. i will use up my mum's vounchers. why let it go to waste huh(: HAHA.

well, went back to amk mrt. met melvin. Sis's friend. then took the bus home. BUS RIDE SO LONG MAN. lol! then walked home (LONG WALK!) to put things down.
p.s my sis and melvin went to eat dinner while i went home. shessh
then i got melvin's present for sis to give him. and i had to WALK back to the bus stop. leg pain like hell! ugh. the things i do for sister love. then i walked all the way back home. oh yah. i saw my cousin on the way back to the bus stop. he was riding a bicycle! i asked him to give me a lift to the bus stop but his damn bicycle no seat! HAHA!

IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS.
72HOURS
4320 MINUTES
259200SECONDS
SINCE WE TALKED! ugh.

2007-12-03T20:09:00.000+08:00

God actually does answers our prays(:
I was praying to God to give me answers that i dont have in certain things that im still thinking about. and in the middle of deleting emails, there was a voice telling me to click on this email. I mean, i have 2000 over emails to delete! I might as well just keep selecting everyone of them to delete. but i had this weird urge to click on this particular email that was sent to me from my senior on 24june07. I didnt get answers. But i got questions that i didnt realise existed. And in a way, I think i know what i should do.

*
"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?,
or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...
if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own........when you least suspect it,
or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had,
but that other person was too afraid to let you ?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...
for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what wedon't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger .
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done,
or could have had.

*What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? ( even if it is that you don't care anymore)
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?
*People live, but people die. I want to tell you thatyou are a friend.If you died tomorrow (God Forbid)
you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?

We might be best friends one year,
pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next,
and don't want to talk at all the year after that.
So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,
I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you ,
most of all I CARE about friends

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.
Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and . always will.. "

2007-12-03T18:07:00.001+08:00

Happiness and sadness are not caused by your surroundings. They’re caused by your thinking

2007-12-03T16:25:00.000+08:00

i think my sis and i are the only ones who talk to each other through msn when we're both at home. she's in the room, im in the living room. HAHA.

*
I miss your cookies deliveries with the letters smelling of cookies. The scent is fading away. I guess so are you. I miss sharing the cookies with you when you use my laptop and i watch the television. I miss the times we both just landed on the floor with hands tangled together bcos neither of us wanted to give in to the lethal elbow attacks. I miss seeing you fall asleep next to me. I miss us lying on each other's back on the sofa. I miss sneaking up on you. I miss splashing water at you. and i miss so much more... most importantly, there's no denying i miss you.

DONT GIVE UP ON ME BCOS I GAVE UP ON YOU.

2007-12-03T13:16:00.000+08:00

& im blasting music into my ears to stop myself from thinking about you

2007-12-02T17:27:00.000+08:00

ugh. my mum can be such a pissyoff-er at times!

2007-12-02T14:54:00.000+08:00

Alright. so i was back from syd on the 29 nov. Im the only loser who jet lags. ugh. haha.

anyways, friday went to support anne for auditioning in a musical! We met up for breakfast with her mum. then her mum went to work so the both of us when to the waiting area there. After the whole thing, we went pastamania for lunch. Didnt really feel hungry so the both of us just shared a pizza. Then went to starbucks! (: talked about random stuff i guess. And trying to help anne to decided whether to go for lunch with Ms raju and her other members. I was wondering why isit so hard just to decide. and THEN! I found out the reason. the only reason why she didnt feel like going. HAHHA. Okay. ididnt really found out. she told me. hahah! it was so lame a reason anne. haha! oh well. after that met sis!! <33

We shopped here and there and everywhere. haha.then we bumped into our brother at orchard. So decided to get a ride from him to our mum's office then the four of us go back to grandparents' house together. We went to our mum's office rather early. and my brother and i were crapping ard. haha.

TIRED.
*
Saturday 01dec07
-shopping with sis
-asia beatbox championship

Went out early in the morning and had dad drop us off at amk mrt bcos we couldnt decide where to go. then decided to go suntec first. I think i spent like 200 over today. Bought quite a LOT of things. haha. Okay, the reason i wanted to go suntec early was to make sure that i can get the royce chocs for kyung. I promised. So finally! after walking and walkin...I FOUND IT(: haha. then it was like 12pm and the man told me that the dry ice thingy will only last 4 hours.then we went to ms to shop ard. Damn hungry so ate KFC. shiok! So damn long never ate there alr! hhaha. My stupid sis had a bimbo fit and deicded not to eat lunch. pfft. Oh yah! and we were carrying our new GUESS bags that our mum bought for us in syd! its so nice! i see people staring at them! HAHA.

Okay. after lunch, went to shop ard ms. the shop that we wanted to go to wasnt open so decided to far east. Somehow i just didnt feel like shopping. i dont know why. We only walked ard a lil and decided to go amk hub alrd. the competition was from 2-4. i didnt tell kyung i was going. it was kinda a surprise. haha. i thought i made it very obvious bcos i was asking when it is,where isit,will he be there from 2-4pm and all, what time is his turn. but after getting all the info i was like " oh.haha. anyways, all the best then." yups. phew. my legs were killing me. amk was so far from where we were! but still went anyways. got there and they didnt start until like 2.30. it was two by two to compete with each other also. he was like the last few. then it was his turn. wa lao. his supporters were ALL GIRLS. my sis was like wth. haha! i didnt know too. there were like 8 to 9 girls sitting infront of me screaming their lungs out. there were others but i didnt know where they were. Anyways, he kena suan on stage until damn funny i tell you. hahah! after his performance, i wanted to meet him hoping the girls wont be there. but..wow. they were WAY FASTER THAN ME. bythe time i saw him, they were crowding around already. and as i was approaching, one of the girls saw me and started nudging her friend.

that was not a good sign. trust me.

so i went up.And the moment i stood in front of him the girls were giggling and laughing and making those teasing sound. I was alright at first but their reaction totally shocked me. I didnt expect them to do what they did! super embarrassed can! then talked a lil but i couldnt really talk talk bcos every girl there was staring. How to talk man. ugh. Then i gave him the ROYCE chocs. wa lao! the teasing just went louder! Made me like so malu for god knows why. as though i was doing sth illegal. So i made an excuse to go off early. No choice la. I didnt know how else to react to their reaction please! so i went off early.

CONGRATS ON GETTING INTO TOP10!
YAY(:
but the thing is the grand finale is on 20 dec!!! that's like clare's bday! agh! i wanna go! im praying so hard it'll be at night!!

At night went bowling! :D it's been 8 months!! hahah!. then the best part was desmond wanted to join. then when he ask where, i replied to that bummer! then bloody best. kyung go and reply. and i even asked "you're done eating with your mum?" and he still reply! LOL. after bowling, went home and called desmond to talk to him. told him like stuff and all. I still have a badfeeling about US. you know who im refering to. I mean, i think about it and i will cry. let me pour out my rant.But before that, kyung found the price tag for the chocs. apparently, i didnt see it at all! it was on the box INSIDE the dry nice protecter thing. and he scolded for buying expensive chocs. haha! oh well. it's nice chocs!!

sunday,02dec07
SWIMMING WITH SIS! GOT TAN-ED(:
*
Alright.Maybe im just being over sensitive. But we're drifting apart so fast i can hardly even breathe. (Desmond, i really feel like shyte today! stop gaming! arggh. I need to rant to you before i blow!)

back to what i was saying.. i think we've became complete strangers. I rmb the first day we talked..about chi results. and then you asked me for my number. and then we started talking as though we knew each other since god knows when. The phone calls we had always ended up me being dissed by you. but you know what? at least we were talking. we had like everything to talk about. we took the same combi too. Studying was always easier bcos whenever i didnt know sth, you were there 24/7 like you told me. and when i got totally stressed and on the verge of giving up and just felt like crying, you called me to tell me not to give up. and the things you said to me. you had no idea how much easier it was. Like you said, we went through a lot especially during o level.. and the ss notes you went to photocopy for me. the bio BOOK you went to photocopy bcos i was clueless about bio and just wanted to throw the sub away. the two jerks you hear me rant until the early morning just to get it off my chest. the things you said to me on tue during that one week break in o level really changed everything. I started to think. I started to wonder. and then o level actually ended! like FINALLY. and the things we planned to do were just a step away. But then i had grad night stuff and i told you not to send me off at the airport. maybe that was mistake. bcos the moment i stepped onto that plane to syd, it was the action that changed us totally. We smsed. i heard some bitch said things to me and i rant it to you. felt better. but we werent talking much anymore. but i was like thinking it's just causeyou're there n im here.

Reality sucks.
i got back. nothing from you.
we dont even have things to say.
it's like there's a black pit in between of us and none of us dare to jump over so we deicded to walk away.It feels actually like that. and it sucks! I rather we NEVER KNEW EACH OTHER.

Goodbye to you bcos what we bcome in future lies in your hands now. Ive tried.
I forgot what it was like to have you here with me
I thought you should know you're not making it easy.

2007-11-26T07:40:00.000+08:00

OKAY. Another new week! It's half in sydney and half in spore. haha! I cant wait to go back to spore to shop for clothes and bags and shoes with my sis! All the saving up of money just for this:D

K-BOX! BOWLING! SWIMMING! AHHH(:

alrights. yesterday went to see my sis, then went to some nut factory and then to "the rocks". it was like hot hot hot ytd man. had dinner at like 5pm??i swear i'll start to feel hungry at 5am, 10am and 2pm when i get back to spore! what the p.

& it's another day to slack today(:

p.s i think you're either becoming a biatch, or you already are.

2007-11-23T13:46:00.000+08:00

what kind of summer is this when it feels cooler than a air-con room out there???
oh my gosh. I can be blown away by the wind!

*
Alrights. went to central to shop. Let's see what ive bought so far. yesterday, ive bought a book, a dress that's like $55(aus) and previous days i got 3 tops. today, i got like 4 tops! (: i wanna buy more dresses! TIME TO SHOP IN SPORE BECAUSE STUFF ARE SO EXPENSIVE HERE IN SYD!

Ive watched John Tucker Must Die today. it's so funny! damn nice to watch! Those who havent watched it should watch it,really! (:

*
Asshole, you're really stubborn. That jerk shouldnt deserve a second of your attention. And i dont want you to have anything to do with him. Please dont interfere... He's not worth it. What he says to me, you cant do anything about it. So i rather you just leave it. Anyway, he's SUCH A LOSER! OMG! HAHA!

2007-11-22T11:35:00.000+08:00

Im bored...
you're not replying anymore.

It's funny how ppl can say sth and yet show sth that means another thing in a spilt second.Or simply just tell me what's on your mind.
*

OMG. VALERIE! I DIDNT KNOW HOW BIG MOUTH SHE IS. SHE'S SUCH A BITCH! OH MY LORD. can ppl stop talking about my life like it's some kind of novel? bcos it's not. i just dont get how your lives are so boring that mine appeals to be a lot more..what's that word? fun? I dont mind if you talk about stuff that is actually TRUE. so you think you know me? talk about what you think about me? why should i care? well, it's my life. and if you're talking about something about me that's not true, it will piss me off. stop messing with people's life and stick to your own. you're not managing your own life well enough to manage ours.

2007-11-22T11:05:00.000+08:00

okay. Im like all alone in my brother room here in sydney uni village. He's going back to spore and my mum followed him to the airport to make sure he's 50kg over bag can get through. haha!

Ive finished watching the first season of heroes because my brother had in on cd. cant wait to watch season 2! (:

2007-11-21T12:55:00.000+08:00

FINALLY I FEEL CONNECTED WITH SPORE!
(joyce, if you know wht i mean. i think you do.haha!)

YEA!
ANYWAYS, GUESS WHAT? I'LL BE IN SPORE BY THE NEXT ROUND OF THE ASIA BEATBOX COMPETITION! it's 1st dec. so yea!

syd's nice. it's suppose to be summer. but it's kinda still spring. so during the day it can be warm. but there's like cold wind blowing in your face 24/7. and at night it's COLD. and ALL of my bottoms are hot short and skirts except for one skinny jeans and urm..normal jeans. yap. O well. i'll live. things here are so expensive and people EAT A LOT! oh my goodness. like i had steak last night but i couldnt finish the whole thing which includes fries. and this lil girl, she's like what? less than 10. and she ordered the same dish. Oh. did i mention she finished it? yup. i feel like im under-eating! if there's even such a thing!

oh! and ive written like 2 new songs!i love the second one. It was kinda just personal and then it got emotional and im like " omg. why is this song so sad???" oh nevermind. i'll publish it here once i perfect it. so yea. Until then, gotta go for now!

It's only three hours ahead here in syd. and im gonna get jet lag again when i reach spore! gosh. i'll end up sleeping at like 9am in spore.and waking up at 4.48am. GESH.

2007-11-18T08:37:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE SINGAPORE.
HELLO SYDNEY!

IM IN AUS NOW! saw my sis and later gonna see my bro! YAY:D
helping my sis to prepare for her maths exam. hey foundation maths is sth like our amaths but LESS. oh my gosh please. and this is the same as singapore's a level. it's so much easier in aus. sigh. maybe i should really study in aus! but then i'll be like so loner bcos my sis is going back to spore to study. she said sydney life is SLOOOWWWW. should i? that asshole told me to just go. and when i said "im never coming back to spore" he said "okay! fine! i dont care!" stupid guy. WHAT AN ASS RIGHT! lol! and im not the hole. you're the asshole!the whole package.

ANYWAYS! GUESS WHAT?? THAT ASSHOLE MADE IT THROUGH THE FIRST ROUND OF THE AISIAN BEATBOX COMPETITION! CONGRATS KYUNG! I WISH I WAS IN SPORE
:( oh well. and i havent told him wht i wanted to tell him. ahhh!! heck.

2007-11-14T08:04:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness. i had like cramps from 4am-5am! it's like wth man! and then i couldnt sleep so i ended up thinking of a really bimbotic interview. haha!

reporter:

ok. imagine you're having a slumber party. or just an ordinary sleepover. your friends have all fallen alseep but you just couldnt sleep bcos you had things on your mind. would you wake your friend up?

bimbo:

hmm..oh my gosh! i think this is a really tough question. I dont think i'll do that bcause it's like..not right! we only have 24 hours a day and we're so busy doing shopping,going to a salon and you know!

reporter:

so you'll never ever wake your friend from her beauty sleep?

bimbo:

goodness gracious! certainly not! i will never go that! of course unless i really REALLY need help and im troubled. Like i could definitely wake her up if i cant decided on what colour menicure to do the next day! oh my gosh! that would be a CRISIS!
*
okay. i have no idea what i was thinking. haha!

2007-11-13T21:23:00.000+08:00

O LEVEL IS OVER! CAMBRIGDE CAN TAKE THAT AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR A-HOLE! (:

now now, i gotta still be nice. they are still marking my paper! x(

anyways, i dont know how to bring that topic up to you anymore. bcos im losing the courage to do so. shucks.
oh well.

people are actually reading my blog? haha. i thought it was like dead long time ago alr! sorry for the slow download. no fate to read my blog(: hahha!

anyways, i went out with anne today. and i learnt something new. she's really special to me. i mean like, how many friends you get close with but after drifting apart, you'll never be the same again? i think im like that with everyone. let's see. like when i was in primary school, deen,shar,anne and i were really close. but now that we've drifted, route 187 has never been the same ever since. and then in sec one when i met nic, we got along so well. but after drifting in sec2, things wasnt the same anymore. and then in sec 3, i got close with bird, even with all the retarded rumours, we were still close. but after lopez insisted on seperating us, we are not the same anymore. it'll never be. but there's one friend. one girl in this world that i know i wont be caught in such a situation. it's anne. i mean like, of all the people, i really wont think i'll remain close to her. we didnt even got along exceptionally well in primary school!

and then we drifted like more than ever in secondary school. honestly, i dont know what it would be like to go shopping with her today. like would it be weird? would we have nothing to say?

but surprisingly, we had so so so much to say! and it's like our life was a flimstrip. we just paused and now we're continuing from where we last stopped! you know. like there's a pause button and then we get caught up with life and then when we're ready, we play it again and it feels the same. if doesnt feel awkward. it's like just where we last left it. i know god's telling me to treasure her and i really will.

anyways, today's shopping was great! i bought a top and a black skinny jeans. like for the first time i spent less than 100 bucks! hahha. i wanna buy a purple skinny jeans. maybe red too! ahhah. we kept seeing ppl we thought we knew. and then i had muscle cramp like in the middle of the road. and anne was having a bimbotic moment. like.." omg omg. dont do this to me. bad things happen when ppl have muscle cramps. i'll see someone i dont wanna see!.omgomg. you need a banana."

like.. WTH ANNE! hhahahhah!
then i REALLY was thinking of stopping at starbucks in taka to rest my feet. but then anne CLAIMED i did it intentionally just to go to starbucks. i didnt even see there was one on my right pls! hahah! i really didnt! but she insisted i did that on purpose so we could get a drink. pfft. lol!

and then we started walking halfway down the street and suddenly just pointing up and like "omgomg! look at that!" and then it worked! on unintended victims. ahhahha! omg. then one row of ah bengs were like " what are they looking at?" then i burst out laughing! and they kept turning back after walking pass us! hahahha! super funny!

ohoh! and we had like some telephathy weirdness! it's like when we see something weird, we have the same expression on our face. pause and then look at each other. we said the same line together like twice. and they were really random lines. that was freaky.the whole day it was like taht. and then when we left at 6 plus, i was thinking on the train why it was like that for her and me but different with other ppl and then she sent me a sms saying why she thinks we can still remain so close. it was like i asked her literally and she answerd my question!! goodness!

p,s anne, no more talking to plants. no no. it's bad.

and when we were trying to take our last pics in school uniform at orchard, everyone were looking. and then when some dumb ass just walk pass while we were taking pics, we just ended up laughing. and this aunty was like laughing also! i think my laughter was LOUD. hahha!!

OUTS WITH YOU SOON LOVE! I MISS YOU! AND RMB OUR PACT YEA?
our friendship
on a paper
in a bottle
buried in the sand
at sentosa
every year
meeting to dig up that bottle
and talking till the sun sets
and it'll be another year ahead
on our different paths
in lives
but still remembering each other
like it was just yesterday

2007-11-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

i officially have NOTHING to say to you.
If i do number one, it's wrong
if i do number two, it's wrong

tell you what. forget it.

2007-11-10T18:21:00.000+08:00

whoot!
just finished running on my threadmil. And i already feel lighter! way lighter. i feel fat for the past weeks like ever since o level started. i mean like, i did nothing but go school, sit down and do a paper, go back home, study and watch tv and then eat and everything involves sitting down! ugh!

So anyways, i feel a lot better than yesterday as well:D
i just smsed clare and there's a outs on wednesday! oh my lord! i cant wait to see her!!! haha. we're like shopping, camwhoring, taking neos and everything else! cant wait! i miss hanging out with her so much! and taking about practically everything under the sun! YAY!

i miss her! :(

2007-11-10T12:39:00.000+08:00

no use appearing offline or blocking me. you know im still pissed at you.
i cant be bothered alr.Do whatever that pleases you.
*
the clickfive- all i need is you
You're scared
It shows
Been there
You're not prepared to be
In love
With me
So soon
cause you've been through enough to have
Something hold you back
We don't need to go that far
Let's hold on to where we are
If it's real we'll make it through
Cause all I need is you
They say
Don't wasteYour time
They're obviously blind
So let'sForget
The words the thoughts they put into your head
Don't give up just yet
We don't need to go that far
Let's hold on to where we are
If it's real we'll make it through
Cause all I need is you
We don't need the world right now
We got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I'll hold on too
Cause all I need is
--
Baby, maybe we should start somewhere
baby, let me in your heart
Before we fall apart
We don't need to go too far
Let's hold on to who we are
If it's real we'll make it through
Cause all I need is you
We don't need the world right now
We got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I'll hold on too
Cause all I need is you
All I need is you
All I need is you

2007-11-09T23:30:00.001+08:00

we'll be together-ashley tisdale

I'm not alone
Even when we're apart I feel you
In the air(yeah)
I'm not afraid
I know what you're thinkin
'I can hear you everywhere
Some people say it'll never happen
And we're just wasting time
But good things come when you least expect them
So I don't really mind
We'll be together come whatever
Not just staring at the stars
Just remember
That no one else could tell us who we are
We'll be together so don't ever
Stop listening to your heart
Cuz I can't turn mine up
Oohhh (yeah, yeah) ohhh
I can't pretend
This is a rehearsal for the real thing
Because it's not
And I know we're young
I can't help feeling what I'm feeling
And I won't stop
Some things are meant to be and will be there
When the time is right
Even though I know that
I swear I wish you were tonight
We'll be together come whatever
Not just staring at the stars
Just remember
That no one else could tell us who we are
We'll be together so don't ever
Stop listening to your heart
Cuz I can't turn mine upOoooh yeah
I like what's happening to me
Ooooh yeah
Nothing else to say
Oh, Ooooh yeah
Somebody finally got to me
Carry me away
We'll be together come whatever
Not just staring at the stars
Just remember
That no one else could tell us who we are
We'll be together so don't ever
Stop listening to your heart
Cuz I can't turn mine up
Oohhh oh yeah, yeah(we'll be together come whatever, come whatever, come whatever, come whatever)Ahh ohhh
I'm not alone
Even when we're apart I feel you

2007-11-09T15:04:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh. kyung gave me such a huge surprise!

Caroline's havin sore throat and felt a lil feverish since yesterday. and this morning it was like way worse than yesterday! i felt totally like shyte! and that bum wanted to come my house again to study. i wish he could but i didnt want him catching anything from me. so i insisted i wont open the door. So we were smsing on and off today. and then as i was blogging, that bum smsed me and on the third sms he was like " eh, look at your house fence. walk to the gate and turn to your left.i think there's sth there for you.." and at first i was like " eh..wth" and then i walked to the door to see the gate and there was this white packet thing. i almost dropped my phone! i opened the door and went to the gate and there was a subway packet with two cookies and a letter! aww! how sweet! a get well note! hahah. but that bum disappeared. lol! when i went back into the house, my mom called and asked me about studying in sydney and i was still super shocked at that surprise, all i said was " uh.uh. ok. anything.. ok. uhuh." but i didnt really caught what my mum was saying! hahah. and i read the note. oh my gosh. i almost cried.

what an ass! hahahha. i wish i could say thanks to you in person. but you made my day!

and to think while i was using the com, i thought i saw some guy dashing pass my house but i shake that thought off bcos my eyes were playing tricks on me the entire day! can you imagine. haha. oh gosh... that letter is like a filled with oil spots. hahha! but im touched(:

damn this guy can make me laugh and cry all in one day:D
*
something that happened at my house ytd which make me laugh like crap!
KYUNG:eh..how to do this question ah? it's damn stupid lah.
CAROLINE: wait ah..
----
CAROLINE: huh.. my answer is C leh.
KYUNG: you'll choose C right?
CAROLINE: WAIT!
----
CAROLINE: yah. i dont get why it's not C
KYUNG: AAAAHHHHHAHAHA! I TELL YOU OKAY. IT'S THE SAME! look. see.. this onE..
CAROLINE: but there's a negative sign here (points to option E)
-SILENCE-
KYUNG:..OH SHIT!
CAROLINE:..HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!
KYUNG:...AHH!
CAROLINE:...HAHAHHAHAHAHHA! LOSER.
KYUNG: WALAO! KENA BUSTED! YOU WATCH OUT. I'LL GET YOU BACK ONE DAY.
CAROLINE: SURE. HAHAHHA!

2007-11-09T14:18:00.000+08:00

Someone tell me what to do... BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY!
How did i ended up like.. that.
why didnt i say what i wanted to say that night.
Because now i look at you and i tell myself it doesnt matter anymore
But every question still have you in it.

Now, im stuck with the ghost of how we used to be.

2007-11-09T12:28:00.000+08:00

PISSED OFF AT YOU.

2007-11-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

screwed.

2007-11-08T19:39:00.000+08:00

Bought my grad night dress and shoe! haha
dress: $109
shoe: $64
and bought another dress! $129
I dont have pics of my grad night dress though. not showing it up until that day.hahah.

http://img262.imageshack.us/my.php?image=caroline2oq4.jpg

http://img100.imageshack.us/my.php?image=herewegotr1.jpg

http://img100.imageshack.us/my.php?image=deceptionliesbehindthegwn8.jpg

http://img100.imageshack.us/my.php?image=fiveminutests6.jpg

http://img100.imageshack.us/my.php?image=iwontletyoubringmedownzh4.jpg

http://img100.imageshack.us/my.php?image=caroline3nr4.jpg

i couldnt upload the pics properly so these are the links.
I NEED TO GO SHOPPING AGAIN!

2007-11-08T13:04:00.000+08:00

Just ate finish lunch!
Later going out with my mummy to buy grad night dress and shoes! :D

So let me blog about what i did ytd.
Kyung came to my house in the afternoon. He bought subway cookies for me! haha! then we were using the computer and slacking. Watch totally spies! wa lao. the whole time we were having lethal elbow fight la. Like when i was using the laptop and he was lying on the sofa suddenly he'll sneak up on me.BUT i reacted fast! haha. Then he was using my laptop to check some beatbox info. the Asian competition thing.. and i was lying on the sofa and then i succeeded! hahah! that idiot screamed. lol. Then we fought until both of us just laid on the sofa. No one wanted to give in.Oh my. I ended up with a blue black! lol. slack a lil more and then TRIED to study. SO HARD! Then i almost slept.kyung told me to sleep but i didnt want. and guess what? he ended up sleeping! at such a weird position! hahah! i let him sleep for like 25 min and then my dad came back with DINNER! so woke him up. goodness. that part was damn hilarious. we caught up with more work and then at 7 we ate dinner.
was watching yo mamma on MTV before my dad went to change the channel. oh my gosh. when i threw away the packet that contained our food, i was like " eew. dustbin.dont touch" and then he helped me with it. then i realised. i totally such at kitchen duties! haha. Then we used a lil bit of the com and then my dad fetched us to tuition.

TIME FLIES MAN. it was like over damn fast!! it was our last lesson:( I think i'll feel weird being so free. lol!

2007-11-08T09:52:00.000+08:00

I have so much on my mind! RAHHH!!! It's like working way over time!!
ugh.
I didnt get what i wanted to say ytd bcos i just didnt know how to bring it up.
And it's like "why didnt i say it that night?" kinda thing..
and now i dont know how to say it.

i'll say it on tue. Hopefully, i wont make things awkward.

2007-11-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

SIX MORE DAYS TO COMPLETE FREEDOM! WHOOO!!!

gonna study soon. then having tuition later.. It's only gonna be for pure chem students. only four students! but then again, i dont have to see people i dont like:D hahah!

BYE.

2007-11-07T09:12:00.000+08:00

I dont know if what you're doing is right..
When it comes to this kinda thing, there's really no right or wrong.
But im really glad that you did what you wanted to do.
Im glad i heard it from you personally.

I hope things will turn out fine.

2007-11-06T17:31:00.000+08:00

AHHH. im trying to do physics today! Was about to.
Talked to bummer in the morning till afternoon.
DID A LOT MORE RANTING.
Somemore to go! haahhah!

YAY.
BYE.

2007-11-06T08:13:00.000+08:00

MORNING(:

still slacking. i havent slacked for so much in a LONG time! haha!
busy doing something so that i can rush it for GRAD night! :D

OKAY
BYE.

2007-11-05T16:46:00.000+08:00

HELLO BLOG!
HELLO COMPUTER!
HELLO TV!
HELLO SUN!
HELLO MOON!

it's one week break! im back to update my blog! it's like dead,rotting away!
Almost done with o level! in fact, why didnt they have mcq on the same day as the paper two! then at least i dont have study it all over again! oh well. I feel so free now!!! :D

So many things have been happening lately! I need updates from jj,joyce and clare! like people! can you not make me go lagged! Now, im just blasting my music away! it's so deafening! If im already so happy now..i wonder how i'll be when it's officially over! i cant imagine. but it's 8 days left. Ive been counting since like 200 over please. hahha.

I think leaving secondary four is such a sad thing. I havent thank those people who made an effort to come on the last day of school! you guys really made that day worthwhile. I'll really rmb those who came. Even people like theresse and shush who came after recess. WOOT! i love you guys! Last day was really sad. But i wasnt ready to cry yet. It's the only thing i dont look forward to about grad night. I'll burst in tears. the make-up,the dress will all be ruin. But i'll still cry my heart out. that day's really hectic for me. I have like a 12.30am flight to sydney. and then i'll still be "studying" for first three days there. Cause im going all the way there to teach my sis amaths. IM GOING TO SEE HER SOON! i rmbed that time when she came back like after god knows when. I was having tuition at lim's place. I was pretty neutral about it. then i got home. like where's that girl?? and then i went into every room. and there she was sitting on the floor wiping some of her stuff that was left so dusty. i stood there for a while. laughed at what i was seeing bcos "yup. hell she's back" and then i ran to her , hugged her and cried! i didnt even know why i cried. But i was so so so happy. i guess it's the effect of how seperating two sisters who did almost everything together in the past. I rmbed how i cried when i had to wave goodbye to her at the airport. It was then i told myself i had to do well for o level. Because after that i'll get to see her! She wrote me a letter and passed me two cinema vouncher. in the letter she wrote lots. She wanted to me study hard, but relax. and enjoy the two vounchers while she's gone. but ive decided to wait for her to return and then go watch it with her! ive saved like over 500 bucks just for her to spend when she's back in spore. then she can have 500 and i'll have 500 and we'll shop till we drop! of course i still have money to go out with clare love! :D

I cant wait for my bro to come back too! we made a pact. motivate each other. Reward :300 bucks! haha!
*
okay. after all that ranting, i still cant believe i'm almost done with o level! haha. I have to thank bummer! that's kyung. From the time he made me cry on the phone bcos of things he said to calm me down bcos i was pissed at some asshole jerk. im going to kick that aj's balls someday i swear! haha-to the time like until now. even on saturday! when i fret so hell much for biology! he gave me a two hour 35 min (according to him) tuition! hahah! and also study date at my house! hahah! funny shyte! listen.
"who would not trust a person to guide him to her house when she has lived in the house for 16 years?"
BUMMER.
yupp. so he went left when i insisted he go right! so in the end, we had to meet halfway. hahah! then we watched numbers. omg. i did the lethal elbow thing. damn funny! but now i always become the victim :( anyways, we watched totally spies! oh gosh.

" i think you're such a dance gooder..i mean, good dancer"

HAHHAH! we laughed so hard on the floor! lol! But we did serious studying after that.
*
CLARE! I WANNA GO SHOPPING WITH YOU!
VAL! I WANNA GO SHOPPING WITH YOU! ( i feel so proud of myself i taught you how to shop.hahha! )

2007-10-10T22:04:00.000+08:00

One and a half weeks to o level!

OKAY
BYE.

2007-10-08T19:23:00.000+08:00

Caroline: I havent bought my gown..
Val: Caroline's wearing a gown?
Sa: No no. She's wearing a potato sack

-silence-
Sa: right caroline?
Caroline: huh?
Val: Do you know what's a potato sack?
Caroline: ..urm..no
Val and sa: hahahhahha!
caroline: what's a potato sack?
val n sa: HAHHAHAHH!
caroline: what?!?!?!?! first you ask me if i know what's that. i say no. you laugh. then i ask what's that, and you laugh louder
val: haha. u know it's the kinda sack that is brown and ppl in it goes hop hop hop..
caroline: huh.. but then how to wear? no place to put the legs through
val: that's why you have to hop.get it?
caroline: no.. why would i wear that for grad night?
sa and val: hahahhah!sa: that's what we're trying to say! val asked if you're wearing a gown and like duh right. if not what? a potato sack?
caroline: oh!!! i actually thought it was really a name for a type of gown.

-silence-

sa n val: HAHHAHAHHAAH!
caroline:ugh.whatever.

2007-09-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

Ive done a physics paper! yay me! :D I need to get that attitude back again. It's going to be o level soon! And before we know it, it's gonna be over. And then come grad night :( And then we're all moving on with our lives. Sigh. Im going to miss everyone so so much. Like i wasnt even so attached in primary school! No one cried. And now we're all tearing already. Im bringing a camera and taking as many pictures as possible. With everyone! I wana rmb everyone!

2007-09-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

okay. i so thought it's 11.42 right now. but it's 9.47pm only!
Ive got like a terrible shock. Okay. Maybe not terrible. But i was packing my notes and everything. It was taking forever! Then when i saw 2142 i mistook it as 1142. ppfffttt.. So now i have to do some work.

it's fun. it's fun. it's fun.
MOTIVATION.

2007-09-21T22:04:00.000+08:00

THE SCHOOL IS SO UNFAIR! GRAD NIGHT IN SCHOOL ? WHAT THE P! AND WHAT'S PROM NIGHT WITHOUT GUYS? ( quoted by our principal herself-ironc huh) then combining prom with grad night. like shut up! that's way breaking tradition if you wanna talk about tradition! ahhh! Our year is like..the worst lah please! If you want us to rmb the school bcos we'll never see it ever again, hold prom night there or sth. not grad night! that's so impossibly ridiculous. Looks like nothing's impossible anymore nowadays. Anyways, i'll have a midnight flight to catch. So i guess im not going for prom. I can name 10 reasons for that stupid decision to hold it in school. How about let's start with "how do you fit 900 people in the hall?" UGH! oh well. ranting wont change anything.

Anyways, the last moment of youth mission was super emotional. On second thoughts, i dont wannt start. so yah.

well, suppose to be studying now but im watching ghost whisperer. God knnows why. I think that show is boring.

2007-09-20T15:27:00.000+08:00

There's like currently a lot of things to blog. But i only have.. 2 minutes before i need to go study. So maybe at night or tomorrow.. It's going to be some emo entry so i dont wanna rush through it.

at least for now, im enjoying the self-denial-ing.

2007-09-19T14:01:00.000+08:00

This whole week is like.. nothing much. Having youth mission for two days. And friday is something else. Results are coming back! I wanna know but yet i dont wanna know either. ugh! hurry get it done and over with.. Today was alright.. But a bit the waste of time. It's like so not the time to have youth mission. Then again, i rather have that than studies. How contradicting! oh well. Recess was 45 minutes. and i was telling myself cannot eat. But still end up eating. Have to make up for the food i ate with val yesterday. Yesterday was FUN(: shopping is good. haha. retail therapy. haha. But i spent only like 170. Have lots more to spend on clothes and shoes. hee! There's a reason for saving right. haha. Ohh, cant wait for the next outs! Anyways, back to recess.. was talking to val about all the stuff i havent bought! and those were the stuff i INTENDED to buy ytd. I just ended buying everything but those. haha! And then we were talking about coloured skinny jeans! i want purple! and black! haha. We saw like red, lime green, yellow and blue ytd. Gosh. that's like colour clash! haha. Then bird was asking when were we at heeren. And i said "evening" but i pronounced as " e-ver-ning" and she was the first person who pointed it out to me that it's wrong. what the p! Ive been saying that for 16 years and no one have corrected me! thanks a lot world! geez. Tomorrow's another youth mission day. HOW FUN. pfft.

*

Gotta go my own way-Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron

Gabriella:
I gotta say what's on my mind.
Something about us doesn't seem right these days.
Life keeps getting in the way.
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged.
It's so hard to say, but I've gotta do what's the best for me.
You'll be okay...

Chorus:
I've got to move on and be who I am.
I just don't belong here; I hope you understand.
We might find our place in this world someday,
But at least for now,
I gotta go my own way.

Don't wanna leave it all behind,
but I get my hopes up and i watch them all fall every time.
Another color turns to grey,
And it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away.
I'm leavin' today 'cause I've gotta do what's the best for me.
You'll be okay...

Chorus:
I've got to move on and be who I am.
I just don't belong here; I hope you understand.
We might find our place in this world someday,
But at least for now,
I gotta go my own way.

Troy:
What about us?
What about everything we've been through?
Gabriella:
What about trust?
Troy:
You know I never wanted to hurt you.
Gabriella:
And what about me?
Troy:
What am I supposed to do?
Gabriella:
I gotta leave, but I'll miss you.
Troy:
I'll miss you.

Gabriella:
So
I've got to move on and be who I am.
Troy:
Why do you have to go?
Gabriella:
I just don't belong here; I hope you understand.
Troy:
I'm trying to understand.
Gabriella:
We might find our place in this world someday,
But at least for now,
Troy:
I want you to stay.
Gabriella:
I wanna go my own way.
I've got to move on and be who I am.
Troy:
What about us?
Gabriella:
I just don't belong here; I hope you understand.
Troy:
I'm trying to understand.
Gabriella:
We might find our place in this world someday,
But at least for now,
I gotta go my own way.
I gotta go my own way.
I gotta go my own way.

2007-09-17T11:35:00.001+08:00

ok. forget it. im not doing it. piss myself off only. i think i'll live.

2007-09-17T11:15:00.000+08:00

bNo school tomorrow and the next! woottt!!! SHOPPING WITH VAL! or at least im teaching her how to. i cant believe anyone would NOT like shopping. any girl that is! IMPOSSIBLE.

hahahha.

SLACKING NOW. i'll mug later(:
Rahh. yesterday was quite a pissed offy day. I kept thinking about some stuff. and just when i got all my courage to write something to you, i made myself believe that i can put that aside and study. like screw studies already. Ive realised im using studies for practically everything im trying to run away from. So now im typing god knows what when a little voice is pushing me to type a message that i know i should type. ugh! maybe i should get down to it now. I dont want to die regretting not doing this. so.. here goes..

2007-09-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

Im back(:

had amaths tuition just now. oh my lord. the tanx question thingy was damn easy please!! i feel like killing myself now!! like so totally! sometimes the stupidity surprises me.

Sigh. Im getting more worried about amaths paper. like everything revolves around studies now! im like just 30 over days to o level. I need to mug like hell for these few days then im as free as bird. while it last that is. I cant wait to feel what it's like to have totally no worries about studies at all! but if im going to jc. im starting maths way before school.It proves to work best. haha. i know. why am i thinking about later when im not even over this shat. oh well..

meanwhile, i can go on studying while i have the time!

and and and, I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! TERRIBLY!
okay. maybe not terribly. but i need to!

2007-09-14T18:15:00.000+08:00

wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
hi
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
yo
` CAROLINE-chantel(: ;HeyLove<3 says:
hi
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
nwyay im tianen
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
anyway im tianen
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
rmb me rite?
` CAROLINE-chantel(: ;HeyLove<3 says:
urm.. no. who are you?
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
im tianen
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
forget me?
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
i tianen sec 4 st.hilda sec
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
know u v v long time ago le
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
jus dint chat
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
aiiyah nvm la if u forget me do tc buye
` CAROLINE-chantel(: ;HeyLove<3 says:
how did i even know you?
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
frenster
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
long time ago le
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
nvm
wheeeeee jus got my lastest new pict on my display says:
since u dunno me den its ok
*

oh man. sometimes guys can be such spoilers. just when i was starting to have fun! hahhah. make him super angry with me! so hilarious! ugh. some guys just totally ask for it.

2007-09-14T15:22:00.000+08:00

AHHHHH!!!!!

Last paper left on monday! (: i feel so so relieved! hahah!
It motivates me to work for o level!
very soon it'll be all over over over!
i'll celebrate everyone :D hah!

Still have amaths(: oh i'll mug later. the past week have been really hectic, chaotic and brain damaging please! getting all the info into my head and all! BUT im just super glad it's over. Screw results already! lalala! I think it's quite obvious im high now! although i so totally screwed up my physics paper. i was hitting my head like god knows how many times during the paper. Time's up and i was more than happy to drop my pens and jump for joy! hahha!

Im over you. IM OVER YOU. IM OVER YOU. IM OVER YOU!
*

Going out with val next tue! yayness!! shopping! hahah!! IM SO SO CLOTHES DEPRIVED! I need to shop with clare soon too! ahh. I miss that babe! We're like breaking connection already. rahh.

DESMOND YAP. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, PITY ME! IM BEING DRAGGED ALONG BECAUSE OF YOU. HAHAHA. EVEN IF YOU DONT ADMIT IT, I KNOW YOUR MOTIVE! RAHH!!! DRAG YOUR SO AMAZING TWIN SISTER ONLY! YOU OWE ME!! BIG! :D

2007-09-07T12:21:00.000+08:00

Mugging?!?! ARGH!! stupid history and bio! =X

In the middle of writing another song(:

2007-09-06T16:51:00.000+08:00

AGh! irritating history and biology!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

f. i cant get any information into my head. prelim is NEXT week! =X this is really pissing now. And im having DREADFUL tuition later. how exciting! pfft!!!

P.S I love you -all american rejects
(this song is nice! )

2007-09-06T11:57:00.000+08:00

i'll miss you - 060907

I cant believe how it all began
It feels so good to be home again
I love you
yea i miss you

Back in your arms
Dont tell me your lies
And baby im sure we'll be just fine
I love you
yea i miss you

It feels so right
To be here tonight
When i look in your eyes
Dont make me cry
To wonder if we're through

The sun is setting
My heart is shattered
To watch you go
The shawdow of you
Disappearing from my sight

I cant believe how it all began
If feels so good to be home again
I love you(yea i miss you)
Back in your arms
Dont tell me your lies
And baby im sure we'll be just fine
I love you ( yea i miss you )

Tell me again
How it all began
Because it all seems
like just a near dream
So empty so cold

I cant believe how it all began ( how it all began)
It feels so good to be home again( to be home again)
I love you
yea i miss you

The days we spent
Were just too short
I cant believe It's over now
I'll miss you
Yea i'll miss you

The days we spend
were just too short
I guess it's all over now
i'll miss you
yea i miss you
*

Finally done with it(: it's really random. The song i mean.It's rather short. just 2 minutes 15 seconds. haha. But it sounds nice on the guitar. so yah! It's how i spend my time now.

2007-09-06T08:55:00.000+08:00

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD WHY IS THE WORLD SO LAME!

ugh! It's stupid how it works. One good example. The person whom you try to seek attention from doesnt give a shyte about you but the person whom you dont want any shyte from gives you all the attention in the world. how lame is that! Im trying to mug. really hard. well, at least im trying..

Next song finishing soon:D
*
Avril Lavigne - Everything Back But You

Today was the worst day
I went through hell
I wish I could remove it from my mind
Two months away from you
But I couldn't tell
I thought that everything was gonna be just fine
The post card that you wrote
With the stupid little note
Something wasn't quite right about it

It smelt like cheap perfume
And it didn't smell like you
There is no way you can get around it
Because you wrote

I wish you were her
You left without the e
You left without me

And now you're somewhere out there
With that bitch slut psycho babe
I hate you
Why are guys so lame
Everything I gave you
I want everything back but you

You first tried to tell me
All along
That you weren't the right one for me
My friends tried to tell me
To be strong
I bet you didn't think that I would see

The post card that you wrote
With the stupid little note
But something wasn't quite right about it
I'd want to see you cry
Like I did a thousand times
Now you're losing me

You're losing me now
Because you wrote
I wish you were her
You left without the e
You left without me
And now you're somewhere out there
With that bitch slut psycho babe
I hate you
Why are guys so lame
Everything I gave you
I want everything back but you

2007-09-04T18:19:00.001+08:00

Maybe i should give up once and for all.

2007-09-04T09:23:00.000+08:00

what is caroline doing? :( maybe im just pmsing at the.. wrong time. hahha. Ive been thinking a lot lately.. and ive questioned myself if ive done the right thing to end it off like that. Because you were more than just a person in my life. And was it stupid of me to push you away? Anyways, we've drifted apart already. It's like we're living in two different worlds now. oh great! speak of the devil. As much as i want to deny it, i know behind everything that has been going on, you care for me the most. and i rather you NOT. what an idiot!

need to lose weight again!

2007-09-03T19:13:00.000+08:00

im happy. see what i mean. haha! but oh well. misunderstanding happens. And i guess maybe im just.. too anxious or what's the word for it??....oh nvm!

2007-09-03T14:12:00.000+08:00

f. dammit. i really wonder how you can make me feel so totally high one minute and like crap the next minute.like, make up your mind you idiot. It's raining more than ever and im so totally pissed off. like.. UGH. I think we're better off strangers. really. oh f. nevermind. where's the biology book?? study caroline!!

2007-09-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

Came back DBS art's centre not too long ago. Watched Val's sis perform. NUS play. It was nice(: Had fun!! took lots of pictures. silly pictures! haha. All for the memories.
*
hm..i wonder what you're doing now.. i feel inspired to write another song. maybe i should.. ditto.

2007-08-31T14:31:00.001+08:00

BLOG ENTRY TIME! (: hee. Like finally finally finally! :D Sept holidays=mugging.
But nevermind. That can wait. Haha. Didn’t have school yesterday cause 4/7 had no paper! Haha! So Went to study with kh. Oh my lord. Was so hilarious. I laughed until im still full this morning. Too much gas. Haha. We met at Serangoon Gardens roundabout. Then went to bishan library. Guess what?? I saw the guy that val and me were totally dissing after our Chinese “o” level paper. Hilarious! Okay. After Chinese o level paper, val and me went to PS’s starbucks. And then we sat down. There was this particular guy who sat like..diagonally next to us. With this girl.and then he was showing the girl his Chinese paper. Like “wow. Look. I’m actually a sec 4 student taking a Chinese o level paper” so val and me took out OUR Chinese paper and started saying super loudly like “ hey val! Look at our Chinese paper! This question was super hard! What did you write?” and then “ oh yah!! D right! Super hard. And this question also…” and it went on until it felt totally retarded then we stopped. Haha. But was like hilarious. And then lucky no one realized how I looked at the guy when I saw him in the library. I feel like slapping myself but THANKFULLY, he didn’t recognize me a bit. Haha! If not I think I’ll just dig a hole and put my head under. So was teaching kh amaths and all.. did work. Got ss notes! No reason not to mug now! But at least I still got notes from kh. Then studied. His friends were there too. And then it was funny when kh pointed out to me this particular woman whom Wilson said didn’t bathe for 10 days and kh was like “ no lah! I think maybe a thousand years” and truly enough, everyone dispersed within minutes. Lol. And there was this guy.. super super super weird. It’s like.. RETARDED WEIRD! But I don’t know how to describe the weirdness so nevermind! He’s just weird. And then the girls from st nicks were taking snap shot of that guy at unglam moments then showing to practically all the students there. Super hilarious! Haha. And there’s this librarian who supposedly is 6 times my size ( horizontally ) but I didn’t get to see! Next time then. So at 6.18, we went subway to eat. Since apparently he wasn’t eaten his lunch and didn’t tell me. So I wasn’t hungry. But kh made me eat cookies. And then we were talking about the girls in our class. Oh my lord. Ive finally realized that all the guys laugh at the girls in tuition class. One with super high pitch tone, one with super alien-ed arms and one with…. Straight,short hair with ugly sideburns. Lol! And then remembering how she asked kh for email saying “ it has nothing to do with you.. but you’re Korean right? Urm.. do have friendster? I assure you it has nothing to do with you. But can I have your email?” stupid kh burst out lauhing. Mean right! Poor girl. But if you see her.. you’ll feel like laughing. And it was only yesterday that I realized it really was funny. I mean, I never really went to look LOOK until so detailed. Oh and then kh let me tried ice lemon tea, coke and sprite.i admit. It’s good. And we played one gulp. Super unglam but woah! It’s funny. Each person had to take one full gulp and then the person will try to make you laugh while you’re drinking it. I almost succeed making him spill everything! Shucks. Nevermind. We’re going to play it again next week at tuition. And then I told kh he will surely sleep in class. But he insisted he wouldn’t. so we made a dare. The loser has to go up to that girl with the ( y=1) hair and say “ it has nothing to do with you but.. where did you cut your hair?” I didn’t dare! But I should have bcos it was so wasted. Class was funny. But dammit. Im not concentrating much. We’re going to do the dare next week! Must win if I don’t want to embarrassed myself! Oh and this still freaks me out. When we were walking to tuition, we went through this quiet road. And then there was this man walking in front of us. And too slow. So we walked in front of him. And then you can sense like someone following you and he’s like following really closely and kh and me kept turning at the back to look. And then he crossed the road and kh said sth about his shadow and I was like “ yah! He walked super close to us!” and then he looked at us and I was smiling and I turn back at him and shit. He was still looking. He’s suppose to turn in to a road but then he stopped and walked out again. I was super spooked. I turned the last time and he was pointed at me. Scary man. No life. Scare young innocent teenagers like us. ( or at least me. Bcos kh apparently, wasn’t scared ) In short, yesterday was well-spent. Time to mug now.

2007-08-25T11:51:00.000+08:00

Im sad sad sad! Sigh. Life's shit unfair. One day down. I'll only have 2 hours on that day.. how unfair. What if i totally breakdown infront of everyone?I dont think i can concentrate next week. But prelims are more important. yes. ive got to get my priorities right. Prelims first. you're second. yes yes. i'll just worry after english paper on wednesday. Im just getting used to things happening so fast within that 24 hours.

2007-08-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

Heaven is making a big fool out of me. seriously. just when i concluded, my life has turn for the better, it just like totally screwed up now! And it's all happening so fast! Im like utterly sad now.. :( really really really in total despair. How unfair it is!

2007-08-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

BLOGGER! my love! haha. I so totally feel weird blogging now. and i miss it! terribly. Alrights! After all the hectic days, im finally able to give a proper entry for crying out loud! Now where did i stop? ohnvm. I'll just try to make this really short.

Since the time i last blogged and today, tons of things happened. My view about certain people changes. Im seeing their true colours now. and i dont think i can ever see them the way i used to. It's really sad considering i have a relatively good impression on them but i'll graduate remembering them with what they did during the last year.. Ive never known ppl can be so irresponsible. And what you did was really gross please! And there's this other person.. sigh. Ive never knew you were such a friend. you totally went overboard man. Why must we give in to you when you're the one that should be giving in cause you're like indirectly asking for a favour. Pfft. nvm that. AND THERE'S THIS OTHER BITCH! DAMMIT! YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR FROM ME. I HEAR MY GIRLFRIEND CRY BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID. YOU ARE SO PUSHING YOUR LUCK. I GUESS WHAT I WROTE TO YOU WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF MY TIME. DAMMIT. SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT KNOW WHEN TO STOP! I'LL DO THE HONOURS OF STOPPING IT THEN! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? CALL HER, BEAT AROUND THE BUSH, ACCUSE HER OF SOMETHING SHE HAS NO EFFING IDEA WHAT IT IS ABOUT ( I DONT EVEN THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING) AND THEN YOU MAKE HER CRY AND TELL HER SHE'S AINT YOUR DAMN * FRIEND?!AFTER ALL THE DAMN THINGS SHE DID FOR YOU? WHAT THE P! UGH!
***
(i have something else to blog but it'll be our lil secret for now. haha! )

2007-07-25T14:53:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh. Seriously, life sucks now. Like majorly! Having 10 tests this week.. and, 4 more to go! Yay, let’s call for a celebration!

PFFT.
No one told me it was going to be this hard.. but I guess no one said it was easy. Oh well Oh well. I think it’s true. 4/7 is giving only 63.5% ( god knows how you come up with such a digit ) out of 200% attention. I guess after all, it’s going to be a DIFFERENT 4/7 this year. Didn’t teachers alr saw it coming like.. hmm.. LAST year? Oh well. Anyways, Lessons like biology are so totally screwed up. Sa and me ended up picking out those who are very cautious about their face and body, but have like lots of pimples. And who’s hair looks ridiculously funny. Oh gosh. The last person we were laughing at was like hilarious. But I should stop. Yes I should. Karma will happen. Lol. Tomorrow’s my English prelims oral. Shucks :(

Oh god, let me get this “O” level crap done and over with! I’m alr planning all the things I can do AFTER “O”s.

2007-07-22T08:06:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I think this coming week i have EIGHT tests! :(
Monday: Emaths Mock Exam, Chem SPA skill 3
Tuesday:Chem test , SS mocks
Wednesday: Chem test , Oral prelim
Thursday: Chem test
Friday: Amaths? Forget it. I dont see so far..
*
okay.. thurs tuition was like annoying yet hilarious. that jerk came and i asked him why he came cause he was standing at the door as though waiting for me to welcome him. and then i went to the door, ask him why he came. he said make up. and i slam the door at him. hahah! other than that, jj's 10 questions 10 answers was hilarious! haha

2007-07-18T14:50:00.000+08:00

STRESS. Teachers have time table for tests now! =X how very awful is that?
And all the SPA skill 3 is driving me insane. Seriously, what's the use of asking if we have questions when whenever we asked, you just shut us off? goodness. you can really be ridiculous. and stop it with the wardrobe malfunction! haha! Let's listen to the teacher who have jesus's shoes.hahah! hilarious shit.

2007-07-16T21:51:00.000+08:00

And after all, what is a lie? 'tis but
The truth in masquerade
***

There is no refuge from confession but suicide;
and suicide is confession.
***

And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation
***

that a lie which is half a truth is ever the blackest of lies;
that a lie which is all a lie may be met and fought with outright;
but a lie which is part a truth is a harder matter to fight

2007-07-16T21:38:00.000+08:00

sigh. it's like im upset and im just so used to hearing from you, asking me how i am. it went from everyday to every week to every month. now, i havent heard from you for god knows how long. i miss ranting to you. But i guess i forced you to let me go once and once is enough. i was so pissed, i miss quite a few things i wanted to blog just now. yea. on sunday went to watch harry potter. and somehow, i just felt something missing. but couldnt figure it out at all. until half way through the show then i realised. really have this urge to tell you how i feel now but i just dont know how to put it across. I mean, i was the one that ended this whole thing, it shouldnt be right for me to start everything again. isnt it? Right. Anyways, had LC today too. dont think i did too badly(:

2007-07-16T17:26:00.000+08:00

Today was such a pissed off day! Ugh! Okay. It was PC. And our wonderful cher did English. Cause CJC principal couldn’t make it to our school and talk to us. About god knows what anyway. Well, if she came, this wouldn’t have happened. But it’s just wrong to blame her. So yah. Then tiffany was cleaning the classroom. And she didn’t realized her fan was with some other classmate. but sa and I did. So out of curiousity, we asked tiff “isn’t that your fan? And why is it there?” so she went to ask our wonderful oh so self-LESS friend. And she said oh cause we’re hot. It’s like only her lah okay. And her side has 3 windows. The curtains are blowing. It’s obvious there’s wind. Our window is not facing the sky. So no wind. Thus it’s bloody hot. And then we insist we should take back the fan because no one asked tiff for permission.so sa did. And then we were trying to pluck it back. And then couldn’t. we could only pluck it infront. So becks and i went to take the table for the fan to rest on. And while we were pushing it back, our dearest teacher asked what we were doing. So becks was like “we took back the fan “and she asked why. Becks said cause it’s tiff’s fan. Okay. She just likes to play this game of “who is the most over sensitive one” and she was like saying “hey. I didn’t know you all are so selfish. So petty!” and were like “huh? It’s not the point. The point is permission wasn’t asked” then nvm. Tiff doesn’t want this to go on alr. So she said nvm. But NOO… our dearest teacher want to go on and on. Okay. So tiff said everything that happen. And our cher asked why didn’t she take it back earlier? Why only 20 min later? Goodness! Cause she only saw it 20 min later?! Like she was cleaning the dammn classroom!?!?! Nevermind. I pardon people who doesn’t appreciate people who clean classrooms. Or maybe it’s just you. And then tiff was explaining. But NOO…she insist tiff is wrong. Tiff has a motive. Wtf is wrong with you?!?! If you want us to explain what’s happening but shut us up when we say sth, I really wonder why we’re explaining ourselves. Okay. So tiff asked “ if you see your pencil box at the end of the classroom, will you ask why it’s there?” and she was like “ no, this is not the issue” it is the issue you damn bloody sonofabitch! (p.s it’s the first day ive said swear words after so long! ) and it’s not like we don’t want to share it, it’s just normal human reaction to ask why! I guess what’s normal for us, will not be normal to you ever. (you’re forgiven ) and our DEAREST classmate has 3 windows at her side. In which, the curtains are literally flying. Means what? There’s wind! You don’t go bloody say we should understand since we’re science students. You’re the one who is not so why asked us? Fine, go embarrass yourself. When im a science student, I infer there’s wind there but no wind at our side. When im a normal human, I tell you you’re effing bias! And you said “ oh.i initiated the fan be put there…” so let’s play your game. You want to be over sensitive right? I’ll play. Yay. People let’s all become teachers and steal things. People ask why? You just say “ oh cause im a teacher. I have the rights” I mean, so much for basic courtesy lah okay. and you say we’re selfish. Your wonderful student has 3 windows. One right infront of her face. And she wants another fan. It wanst even shared among the others. It was blowing right infront of her face. What’s is your problem? And you have a own fan for yourself. And you scolded becky for keep shifting the fan to us. You want two. Who is selfish?? It’s like you just choose what you want to see and hear. Anything you don’t care, you just block it out. It’s not like that. You don’t live life like that. Cause..if I do live life like that, I hve no life! You don’t respect us, don’t expect us to respect you. Mitch wanted to record the thing. Too bad she didn’t. but she’s going to tell her mum. Who is like the principal of ccps. I hope sth can be done. It’s our last 3 crucial months. I don’t want to live hell with this wonderful teacher lah. And when sherrie put it nicely that she was misinterpreting tiff, she insisted she wasn’t. F*** you man. Oh well. YOU’RE ALWAYS RIGHT. WE’RE ALWAYS WRONG. Nic was right.you ask us to suggest sth. We do and when it goes wrong, we get blamed. If there’s one thing in my life that went wrong, it was having you as a teacher. I don’t look up to you. Ive lost total faith that I can somehow find someone deep inside you that I can respect and look up to. I give up. You’re always right. And people who don’t understand why this is so pissing? You wont get it. Cause you’ve never been picked like that over and over again why the same damn cher. Okay.after all of this, sa and me are very very disappointed in this particular someone. Of all the people we expected to speak up, you didn’t. what happened? You just looked at us and did nothing. I guess people do change. Ive mistrusted you. We both have. Just very disappointed. i wana get it over with. I guess ignorance is bliss since you don’t even know we’re disappointed in you. Don’t try my patience. Im fighting every urge to talk to the principal. Okay. I just told my aunt what happened. And she was like “do sth about it okay” I support you. And all. And then she was like “aiyah. Your cher so fat. Sure need more fan to herself one lah” And it’s like if you can name one thing that tiff, becks, sa and I did wrong, say it to my face. I’ll apologise. My aunt’s right. She’s not worth forgiving if she doesn’t know her mistake.

2007-07-14T19:03:00.000+08:00

Alrights. i still feel so exhausted from yesterday. oh and i saw a wedding car on my way to school! how cool is that? getting married on friday the 13th! it's so cool! haha. okay. pardon me. lol. anyways, thurs chem tt was... goodness. i hope that is the most you guys will do. cause anymore, i'll like totally stay away from that tuition! at least not the same class as those guys. goodness. but was rather hilarious after i thought about it! haha! like seriously. oh well. so back to friday. had the celebration at night! damn it rocked! Met my juniors and kinda just hang out with val and mich and then later yigs, chrystal and jo came so we were like the pathetic part of 4/7. the food was good! hahah!! dancing and singing was like whoa. haha. if i havent mistaken, teachers actually did... extreme dancing. to put it nicely. it looks rather wrong too. but i think we're just having fun.hahaa. then we were singing aloud and all. we actually ended singing the school song to end the whole event. and people actually sang! hahah. chrystal recorded it. lol! as proof that we school girls can sing? i dunno. haha. but it was fun(:

2007-07-11T15:29:00.000+08:00

Okay. I just just ranting about my booking of harry potter tix when my com when kaput! oh well. it's pissyfying. cause we wanted the midde seats,which was already taken ( surprise surprise) so my cousins and i decided to split. 2 and 2. and just when we decided, someone else alr took those 4 seats. it was like under the transaction. then we were like pissed so we just took the other 4 seats. and just when we book finish, those damn idiots backed out from their bookings. seriously! how damn UGH! grr..

*
I rmbed i needed to write sth but i forgot. oh well. I need to have my social life back!
p.s biology spa was..not that bad.(now THAT'S a first) As much as i cant wait for o level to be over, something tells me that i'll really miss sec4/7. like so so much. okay. dont get me started now

who ever loved that loved not a first sight?

2007-07-09T16:38:00.000+08:00

another week of school. goodness:(
Isit me or is time passing really fast lately? (please let it be me)
right. I like today. cause there was no EMATHS. so no "carolyn" ( oh gross! )
and there's no " why is your blouse like that caroline?" haha. i guess only people in my class actually knows who those two people are. oh well. today's over alr so it's just tue-fri to suffer!

I dont get prefects duty. If a prefect doesn like being a prefect, let alone doing a job of one, why do you insist they CANT step down. what's your problem man. ( okay. just so you were wondering, im not that prefect. but im just as pissed off ) yes. if you do not have enough man power, why put that burden on a student man! are you even a teacher?? goodness. which part of " I HATE BEING A PREFECT" do teachers not understand? i guess the part about you loving to be one. it's so ironic. and you can stop being SUCH a hypocrite! It makes me hate your guts. seriously. It pisses me big time although im not involved in this oh so contradicting arguement of yours.
*
Let us embrace, and from this very moment vow an eternal misery together

2007-07-08T20:09:00.000+08:00

I screwed up chinese oral BIG time.
So damn upset.
Sigh! :(
oh well oh well.
*

YOU'RE THE ONE THING IN MY LIFE THAT CURRENTLY SUCK.

2007-07-02T14:22:00.000+08:00

i'll be lying to say it feels good to be back. i so needed that getaway. and guess what? retail therapy helps. I spent RM745.53. or, at least my mum did. haha. gosh. i so hate the feeling of coming back. even if it means connection to my friends. it just feels like singapore=stress. fullstop. nothing less than a whole truck of stress. And the thought of going to school tomorrow, SUCKS! it really does man.In other words it means study time caroline. no more little getaways anymore. not until a good 4 whole months later! yes, now, im going to make it through.

only motivation:
fly to sydney to see sis after"o"!

2007-06-29T16:56:00.000+08:00

one week of school has passed
one week of stress is lesser
one week less for prelims
one week less for "o"
one week less with 4/7

the days are not spent by hours but by minutes now. it seems every min counts.
yes. i can do this.

2007-06-25T16:31:00.000+08:00

alrights. so it's semester 2 already! I plan to study really hard and i will! like, most definitely! no more slacking i reckon. Anyways, i did enjoy my last day of freedom doing stuff like watching tv, swimming and reading " the undomestic goddness". gosh i loved " count to ten" it's a rather thick book but once you start, you probably cant stop. i finished it in two days. what do you think huh! that book's fabulous! Right. Anyways, time to study. At least before that motivation slips away into some wonderland again.

STUDY FOR PRELIMS! PAPERS ARE ALREADY SET! =X

2007-06-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

ARGH! so pissed with..myself. over a stupid chem paper. i should really start chucking that aside before i feel suicidal again! so pissyfying! seriously!

2007-06-17T22:09:00.000+08:00

ive been thinking A LOT lately. maybe holidays aint so healthy after all. yanno? alrights. one thing's true. I MISS MY CCA! I MISS ALL THE NONSENSE PEOPLE! I MISS MY GUITAR!! I MISS THE CRAMPED UP MPR ROOM! I MISS THE HOT AND STUFFY CLASSROOMS!
:( ohwell. i had my good share of fun and tears during cca. Ive never been so proud of being in GE. but now, i truely am(: Anyways, academics bullshit is what i should concentrate on right now. yes. stop reading those goddamn books and stop staring into space. maybe for once caroline, you can actually excel ..better. or however that goes... ARRRk. along that line.
*
now that you've given me peace, im really wondering how you are.

2007-06-15T15:04:00.000+08:00

gosh. ive come to accept the phrase" everything happen for a reason" yea. ive got a reason-to piss me off. i mean since kindergarten , i thought those who go primary must really know it all. when i got to primary school, i got those pri 6es have got it all going. then when im primary, i conclude those sec one must be really cool. and then when im sec one i realise those sec 4 really do know where they wanna go in life and all. and now that im sec 4, i think only adults are wise and knowlegable or sth. i dont even think anyone knows what's going in life.those on their deathbed could really think heaven is paradise and then join the crowd up there and insist, they will do better in their next life. shessh! i mean. how do you live a good and peaceful when everyone who comes your way keep fcuking it up? ugh.. like one moment how great it is and then the next, everything topples and it's coming down your way?

2007-06-15T09:09:00.000+08:00

hey peeps. go read "where rainbows end" it's nice! haha. im addicted. will do chem. sometime.. im sure.

2007-06-14T16:35:00.000+08:00

..i'll try again later.

2007-06-13T08:38:00.000+08:00

I solemnly conclude that bio is screwed ( i know i know. when was is NOT screwed ) i guess i'll jump to physics until my anti-bio mood is gone or something
*
yesterday's tuition was alrights. i know you're in a really bad mood but slamming things wouldnt help! gosh. you have so many ways to piss me off. seriously. then you apologise and ask me to forgive you for **** yah. you clearly now know i have no space in my life for you. if ignoring you is going to help, im going to compeletly ignore your existence. As much as it's so goddamn childish, im fine with it.

p.s you have nice hair though.(haha)oh gosh. this is so out of the point

2007-06-12T16:46:00.000+08:00

ok.. i spend my day painting my nails.. gosh. it's taking than i thought to dry. read all my previous entries from my other blog and realised. gosh. i can be so crazy about some ppl! and to think i went through that.. 3,4 times. until i found one i could count now.but what also went poof! and then the current one, yuck!!!!!!!!!! lol. i dont tink anyone will get wad im saying. lol

2007-06-12T11:52:00.000+08:00

oh my lord! i just watched 200 pounds beauty!! So freaking touching the last two parts. cried watching it man!! But it as nice. what a way to spend my morning huh.

2007-06-12T08:45:00.000+08:00

I remember the times we spent together
All those drives
We had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New york
Everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together
Were not enough
And you still feel like dreaming
Exactly always woke up
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight im falling
And i cant get up
I need your loving hands
To come and pick me up
And every night i miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are holding you
Holding you tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that
Night that just couldnt wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we were playing
All the times we spilled our coffee
And stayed out way too late

I remmeber the times you sat
And told me about your jesus
And how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad
Sometimes not having you here

I sing
Tonight im falling
And i cant get up
I need your loving hands
To come and pick me up
And every night i miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are holding you
Holding you tonight

I sing
Tonight im falling
And i cant get up
I need your loving hands
To come and pick me up
And every night i miss you
Ican just look up
And know the stars are holding you
Holding you tonight

2007-06-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

so yah. im here again.this is boring shit man! =X
arr.. I have this sudden terrible feeling. like two good brothers fight because of me. dammit! i didnt know why in the first place it'll end up like that!! although i know it's not directly my fault. but in the way, it still is. sigh! :( i hope they are doing fine now. tomorrow will tell when i face one of them. just so you know, i dont have a good feeling about this.

meanwhile, im bored shit!!

2007-06-11T16:41:00.000+08:00

im currently in love with this song. like literally!
i love the shit out of this song!

haha. and currently, im getting really bored. you can tell with the few entries a day going on yanno. Oh well. Biology literally fries my brain cells! it's hot! okay. that's not literally anymore. I sound kinda off now. haha. i cant wait for shopping spree with clare! brought 200 over out that time and didnt spend! now i have double(: ( i think) yayness! clothes! shoes! bags!accessories! SCREAM*!!! cant wait! haha! i remembered i came here to blog about something.. but i kinda got carried away with the shopping, it kinda slipped..err... crap! neverminds. i'll be back when i think of it(:

2007-06-11T12:39:00.000+08:00

baby, even now that you're gone. why do you have so much energy to make me realise maybe what ive done wasnt the best thing after all? oh well. Caroline needs to study biology! study study study!woot!

2007-06-10T19:47:00.000+08:00

leaving me alone in a house so big is scary. my mind is working over time. and suddenly i realise, i miss your presence. your presence in my life. Remember those movie times. I enjoyed your presence more than the movies. i could stare at you throughout that 2 hours and not get tired. and lying on you seemed like the sweetest thing ever. and no matter what happens, you'll still be there to grab hold of me before i slip and fall. thanks for not letting me fall right through.i miss your hugs and kisses:(

haiyo haiyo! caroline needs to go find sth to do!
oh well. that's like so much for reading my past entries.end up thinking too much. ARR!!

2007-06-10T17:03:00.000+08:00

im alone at home. until tomorrow. But for today, it's me and the same four walls. i get so bored, i do silly things. woke up and starting drawing random things. So the papers are all over the floor now. then lie around my sofa watching mtv. After that i actually did biology. but it wasnt long before i find myself eating chocolates before lunch. and then lunch came and i ate the most unhealthy food ever! I ate pizza and fries with ice-cream. chocolate ice-cream. Then i ate chocolate puddy. haha! then i lie on my sofa watch more tv. before i knew it, i was writing another song but it's not complete. Inspiration broke when i started to talk to my new found brother? whatever. yea. then i was listening to my blog song and got really emo. lied on the floor with the air con blowing and stared at the ceiling for 20 minutes.later figured i should go study. did most of biology chapters except 2 horrible ones with lots of info. then ran on my threadmill for 15 minutes non-stop. went to take a bath. and im wondering what to do now..

weird things you do when you're alone at home.
p.s did i mention i lost 1 kg just like that? im like 39kg now. and yah. i need to gain weight. oh wells.

2007-06-08T17:46:00.000+08:00

It's finally over

It's raining more than ever
Im staring out my window
Pictures of us flashes through my mind
Im helplessly trapped
Between the truth and your lies
It feels so real, but it's nothing more than a dream
And everytime i think of how we used to be

I cant get a hold of you
So maybe it's best to let go
Right before you slam the breaks
and send my heart back to reverse

I find myself buried under the load
Of everyday school life
Just when i've accepted
I'll never see the light again,
You bring me to a place
Where im painfully blinded by the light

I cant get a hold of you
so maybe it's best to let go
Right before you slam the breaks
and send my heart back into reverse

So is this right?
I dont wanna live in your lies again
Now tell me it's just a nightmare
Or just yet another dream
Im over it sooner than i thought
Or is this just another denial?

Even if it's with or without you
I dont need you tripping me
Cause i'll find my way
To climb back up that social ladder

Your badly told lies bring me to the truth
But for now, thanks for making me stronger
and i'll say it again.
yea, thanks for making me stronger

Just when i thought i'll never live till tomorrow
I find myself picking up the pieces again
Because behind this glittering facade
you're nothing but some broken pieces of my life

Now, I cant get a hold of you
and maybe it's best to let go
Before you slam the breaks
And send my heart back into reverse.

So now the rain has stopped
And ive gotta admit,
we're finally done
yea, baby, it's true
we're finally through
Just wanna say, thanks for the memories
And now im fine without you
*
i cant believe a jerk gave me an inspiration to write this song

2007-06-08T14:04:00.000+08:00

yay! a retail theraphy on 21june07 with clare ! now, im going all out.
*
actually, ive been thinking a lot lately. Ive always thought my life was complicated until i met you. yes,in other words a jerk. let's make that two. But, im kinda really fortunate to have people who really care for me. like over-time. So, nothing's going to bring me down now. Come on, jerks. try screwing this up.

2007-06-08T09:12:00.000+08:00

This whole holiday thing is a such a nonsense. study caroline. STUDY!

2007-06-06T18:53:00.000+08:00

dammnit! when to check my o level chinese answers. SO MANY WRONG. really almost cried out. especially when i want to count it in. ugh! life huh. pfft. My teacher was like telling me so wasted. so pissed. i turn around and started saying shit like 10 times. couldnt say anything more. Little kids ard yanno? But val got my full reaction.

thanks bird, glenda and nic for the birthday present!

2007-06-06T11:08:00.001+08:00

come to think of it, i think all of this is rather hilarious. haha!

yesterday is over
and today im fine without you.

2007-06-05T13:05:00.000+08:00

Thanks for promising me things you didnt keep
Thanks for acting like you cared
Thanks for making me fall every time i stand up
Thanks for betraying me
Thanks for lying to me
Thanks for saying those words you know will hurt me
Thanks for always blaming me
Thanks for apologising but never once learn from your mistakes
Thanks for always jumping into conclusions about me
Thanks for doubting me
Thanks for making me feel like everything
Thanks for making me feel like shit too
Thanks for showing me how you can never me trusted
ever again

Most importantly,
Thanks for making me stronger.

So dont come crying to me after a few days, apologising for all the shit you gave, making yourself sound pathetic, making me sound so damn mean. Cause, im doing fine without you.I'm way better off without you.

HANG UP THE PHONE. IVE GOT A BACKBONE STRONGER THAN YOURS.

2007-06-04T21:33:00.000+08:00

JERKS OF THE CENTURY UNITE AND GET A LIFE
DONT YOU RECKON YOUR ACTIONS ARE EFFING ANNOYING?
SERIOUSLY! LIKE NOTHING BETTER TO DO ISIT? SCREW YOU. SCREW THE BOTH OF YOU BIG TIME!
HONESTLY, I HATE YOUR TINY PUNY GUTS! I HATE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.
BL**DY PISSYFYING. YOU'RE SUCH A SCREWED UP JERK.
A REALLY HUGE OVERTIME JERK.
UGH! \

i'm done. Now, i feel better.

2007-06-01T13:50:00.000+08:00

Im legal(: Legally 16 actually. And i finally went to check. The omen IS a NC 16 movie. which means.. i watched my first NC 16 movie before i turned 16! haha! okay. And i only realise it's NC 16 now. Haha.
*
Yesterday was.. alrights. Fun, tiring, Pissing, Relieved.
Oh, but my birthday prsents aka ang bao money, was thrilling.hahas
Dad : $478 phone
mum: $ 100 ( suppose not to have any additional money but oh wells(: )
Grandaunt: $60
3rdaunt: $ 50
4thaunt: $500 ( yes. i didnt accidentally add a zero behind. lol )
and a additional allowance which i dont think i'll touch and $150 bucks for my 3 As.
And of course, thanks for all the birthday wishes!
Krystal, Tiffany, Val, Clement, Nic, Clare, Sa, Sis, Bro, Liwen, Mitch, Joyce, 2 cousins, Y.O, chel, Bird, Hao Meng, Sharron, Anne, Glenda, Jia li, Desmond, Li huang, Some guy i dunno, Val soo, Elite, Angela, Rachel.t ,theresse, Fraustine, Petrina, Rene, Alaine and Angelyn.
*
Wake up really early for god knows why. Then went out to meet clare for shopping spree or you can say retail therapy. lol. In the end, i didnt buy anything! shocking. really. I guess i was too caught up with what was happening. Met clare at bugis, went to ms, Ate pizza hut. her present was so hilarious! i think of it i can already laugh to myself. lol. After that the 'game' started.
IT WAS SO DRAMA!! And i dont really wanna talk about it. Thank God for Hao Meng who made it so much better! If Y.O can be half as understanding as him, i should feel glad! pfft. Got kinda pissed off. I mean, if 4 guys keep msging you regarding the same thing, i think i wouldnt blame myself if i rather throw my handphone away. Really. Thank god my sweet sixteen got saved by Clare! took neos until we had to go. so i sent clare to the mrt station. Hugged her, thank her, turn around and a group of guys just stood infront of me. And one said hi. I almost got a shock since i was praying so hard they werent Y.O's friends. But the point was, i just walked away. haha! Then saw someone.eew.
Met my parents and cousins. Went for dinner. Sent Aunt off to Sydney which im starting to regret not following because.. I kinda really wanna see my sis and bro. Oh wells. And, to sum it all up, it was.. too drama. let's go for something simple next time.

THANKS EVERYONE(:

2007-05-30T13:08:00.000+08:00

爱情是渐渐变了样子的
束手无策的我向前走
一天一天拭写掉了
我们从前的快乐
但是
我还是做同样的梦
思念握住你的手
我的右边座位现在空空荡荡
假装你还是我的

2007-05-29T10:40:00.000+08:00

I think this is rather hilarious:

Lady drivers dont get into accidents
But they cause accidents.

*
btw sis, i think you're pretty dumb. why did you tell me your new url here? he can just link here and there and poof! you'll see him reading your new blog. gessh. And, you owe me big time(:

2007-05-21T18:52:00.000+08:00

i'll play a game with you.
On my birthday, i'll be going to town some time during that day. You go there with your friends and just walk around or do whatever you guys do. If we bump into each other there, i'll give the both of us a chance to be friends again. See you there if fate is on your side.
*
Sigh, someone tell me i'm doing something right because something tells me i'm going to regret this. Whatever it is, i promised so i'll keep it. If we dont meet, kindly, LEAVE ME ALONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! gosh! I ususally dont say this but now i do, YOU'RE DESPERATE! i have never seen someone so desperate like YOU!

2007-05-18T16:38:00.000+08:00

oh gosh. I dont think today can get any worse. Really.
This morning, I retie my hair and that damn hair tying thingy fell dont know god knows where! i spent a good 5 minutes just searching for it in the car. Then when i found it, my father's car jerked and my PHONE fell under the driver seat. A $476 5-day-old phone drop you tell me heart pain a not. Then went to classroom for assembly. and since this morning, Y.O have been messaging me. fucking unreasonable jerk!! Dont even understand two words "get lost". Sorry but if you keep on giving me empty promises, jumping into conclusions about me, and doubting me, this is as much as you're going to ever get from me. And THEN they said go festival court. so went all the way down again. check class then went to look for a empty toilet so clare and i can check our phone. Clare stood up for me to Y.O and now he's putting the blame on me. Still threaten want to go police station leh. WA LAO! you give this kind of retarded story to the police i think their first is to stare at you and then... laugh. but couldnt find a damn empty toilet. After that, went to class for chinese. My headache started again. And i got like on and off stomach ache. After that, went to hall to check papers. Oh my. This is like my first time crying over result. And i hate myself for that.
Let's see. Chinese prelims result. Of all the times to not do well. I didnt do well NOW. Just managed to get an A2. Sigh. Then came amaths. I almost cried when i counted and i got A2. But then rachel pointed out to me i must have calculated wrongly. And yea. She was right. So i got an A1. The top of the level had 83 and i had 82. At least that's a good sigh. Motivates me to strive harder for amaths. Then it was recess. I bought milo, sat at the back of the canteen with clare. Then, again we saw the vp and some VIP people who seem to find it amusing looking around our school or sth. Apparently, i dont think we're allowed to sit there although it's duty-time for us. That didnt really bother me except the part where they were really walking SSOOOO SLOWWLLYYY. Recess over went up. Then emaths. 12 effing careless mistake marks i totally let it commit suicide! but still managed an A1. yes. i cried because i couldnt believe i was so careless. But kinda stopped when mitch gave me a hug. MITCH GAVE A HUG! ugh. what a once in a life time experience(haha). After that we got our chem. Oh my god. Then i totally just burst out. I was like super bumped over the grade. B3! Honestly, it's like the most depressing thing EVER. After that was physics. And i got a B4. I guess i should just shut up because i never intended to pass in the first place. And biology, C6. dont really care. when it came to combine humanities, i totally just couldnt cry anymore. C6. Social studies was SUCH a ridiculous jump. From A1 to C6! what the hell! gave up lah. val got scared because she insist i was holding back my emotions which was kinda true. Just that.. i dont know. I just really thank her for being there. I mean, she herself didnt score well but she still comfort me like it was her duty or something. And i said comforting words to linette. Which later i asked myself why didnt i tell that to myself. It's so easy to tell it to everyone but yourself. All i knew inside was i just kept scolding myself for the lousy grades. And i realised. So many people face pressure from their mum or dad. and I asked myself who was giving me pressure. The answer i found was myself. My own self. You know if one day i die, i'll probably be the murderer and the victim. Maybe mitch is right. I'm trying to be a perfectionist without knowing it. I guess i disappointed no one but myself. And i think it's the biggest disappointment ever. Maybe i just expected too much from myself.

more hope, more disappointments.
ahh. screw this. really. Now, god knows why my other ear is infected. And hopefully it doesnt affect me for my chinese "O" level. It's just so very important.
BUCK UP CAROLINE!

2007-05-17T14:51:00.000+08:00

A $220 retail therapy on 150507 sure brought up my mood. Hahas. Im going to have another round on my birthday. Then it's about time i get down to serious studying. Mmhmm. I'm looking forward to my sweet sixteen. My birthday outfit costs $147. ARRk. most of what i bought on the 15th. As much as i have always dreamed of going back to kindergarten and start all over again, i cant wait for 310507. So many events. chi O finish. Outing for May babies, pepper lunch-ers, K-box with Val and im dragging mitch. HA! Meanwhile, it's still let's-talk-chinese-in-class. And playing bridge with dawn, theresse, nic, junie, linette. Gosh. junie can play! hhas. Alrights. I must admit this is the most slack 4/7 ever. It's no wonder why the teachers are effing worried. I mean. So much for discussing social studies. Tiffany helping yiggie cut her hair. We were playing cards. Sylvie was best lah.
cher: what are you doing?
Sylvie: urm.. social studies
cher: ...in chinese?

HA! I still havent got over that. In the end, the relief teacher gave some maths question around to try and ask us to help her solve. Then she asked me because bird said i was smart. wah lao. so purposely one lah! In the end, I won 3 games in bridge. With linette. hahas. Nic, better luck next time(:

*
checking of papers tomorrow and we're still getting our everyday mother tongue drills. shessh.

2007-05-15T09:00:00.000+08:00

Gosh. Just finished watching " devil beside you" Oh my lord. I can just totally cry watching it all over again. hahas.
yupp. marking day today. out with clare(: